


And the Moon and the Sea (Invited Her In)

by Kapua



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, Wiedźmin | The Witcher Series - Andrzej Sapkowski
Genre: F/F, Yennaia, mermaid au, mermaid!yen, not your disney mermaids tho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:22:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 29,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26815786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kapua/pseuds/Kapua
Summary: Tissaia’s plan for the day didnotinclude finding an injured mermaid washed up on the shoreline. But keeping the mermaid alive may ultimately have a cost higher than either of them could have imagined…AKA a mermaid!Yen AU.
Relationships: Tissaia de Vries/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg
Comments: 169
Kudos: 147





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [brazenedMinstrel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brazenedMinstrel/gifts).



> BrazenedMinstrel requested a mermaid AU a looooongg time ago, and I am finally getting around to posting it :)

Tissaia sighs as she picks her way down the rocky shoreline. Lan Exeter in the winter is bitterly cold, and not for the first time she wonders why she chooses to stay here rather than going to serve a nice Southern kingdom where she wouldn't have to deal with her fingers freezing off every time she sets foot outside. 

She supposes it's worth the cold not to be bound to pointless servitude, though. Here, she can assist with matters of the crown as necessary, but she maintains her own residence and is not accountable to the rulers in the way she would be in any of the other kingdoms. King Esteril generally leaves her to her own devices and calls on her only when he has a pressing need for magic. But mages are not looked upon with great kindness in much of the kingdom, and so he uses her services only when absolutely necessary, meaning she has a great deal of time to herself.

It's not the worst trade off. If she were in a warmer kingdom she might not need the heavy cloak with the furred hood currently wrapped tightly about her, but she would also likely not be able to make a casual day-long excursion to the coast to search the shoreline for a strain of algae she needs for her latest potion. The price of freedom—or at least some semblance of it.

A gust of icy wind stings her cheeks and nearly makes her lose her balance, but Tissaia rights herself and lets out a sigh of relief when her boots make contact with the rocky beach. The last thing she needs is to slip and wind up injured down here. Healing has never been her specialty, and while she can do a fine enough job on others she doesn't trust her ability to heal herself. 

She sets off down the beach, keeping her eyes trained on the area where the waves rush up onto the shore. The algae that she requires is uncommon, but she's seen it wash up once or twice before. It's the last ingredient she needs to source for a potion aimed at assisting with transfigurations. Shapeshifting is complex and dangerous magic even for the most powerful of mages, and an aide would ease the process and perhaps allow more mages to learn how to wield the spells. If nothing else it will be a useful vial to keep tucked away in case of future need.

Her eyes catch on a patch of glistening blue-green snagged on a few rocks and she drops to her knees. Water splashes over the tops of her boots and soaks the hem of her dress but she ignores it in favor of delicately scooping the algae into the flask she's brought along. She continues on down the beach in search of another patch or two so that she can fill the flask to the top; no sense making the journey down the cliffs for half measures. Besides, she's only ever seen this algae on shore when it's the tide just before a full moon. She doesn't want to have to wait a month before being able to gather more.

Nearly an hour passes before she manages to accumulate enough of the algae, and she's shivering and soaked through to the bone. Her fingers fumble with the stopper for the flask and it takes her a few tries before she's able to slide it home. She tucks the flask under her cloak and is about to turn and head back for the narrow path that will lead her up the cliffs and back to her home when something a little further down the beach catches her eye.

She can't quite make out what it is, but it's too large to be a branch, and it's the wrong shape for a seal. Her steps are careful as she moves closer to investigate, but the shape doesn't move. Tissaia's breath catches in her throat when she finally draws near enough to see what's lying on the beach.

_ A mermaid. _

She's seen them once or twice before, but they're exceptionally rare and tend to avoid humans. Relatively little is known about them as a result aside from the fact that they seem to take great joy in outwitting the sailors and merchant ships. They're dangerous, though, she knows that much, all dense muscle and sharp teeth adapted to thrive in the depths of the ocean. 

The mermaid in front of her is lying very still, but she thinks it might be female. It's hard to tell—its body is a uniform sleek olive green and there are no secondary sex characteristics like a human would have. No breasts or external genitalia that she can see, but something about the energy emanating from the being feels feminine, somehow.

It's positioned on its side, giving her a decent view of a row of lethal-looking spiked forest-green fronds running down its spine . A series of larger frills form a halo around the mermaid's head, glistening black with shimmering seafoam green spikes tipping the edges. She thinks that it must still be fairly young, as she's heard tales of mermaids developing more frills as they get older. This one's frills are certainly impressive, but not nearly as expansive as Tissaia has seen in some depictions.

The analytical part of Tissaia mind catalogs each of these features, fascinated at the opportunity to see a mermaid up close like this. It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be able to observe with no resistance, but she also knows that something is clearly wrong, because the creature is still unmoving.

She debates the merits of going closer—she doesn't especially fancy the idea of one of those spikes making contact with her flesh— but she feels a pull to the mermaid and chances a few more steps. When there is still no response from the mermaid, Tissaia kneels and cautiously reaches out to place a hand on its shoulder and nudge it fully onto its back. The mermaid's eyes flutter but it doesn't move, and after a second Tissaia sees why: a large wound in its side that had been hidden by the way the creature was positioned.

Dark blood is slowly leaking from the edges of the gash. Tissaia doesn't know what's normal with regards to mermaid bleeding, but she assumes that there are at least some similarities to humans, which means the mermaid in front of her likely doesn't have much longer alive if nothing is done to help.

She doesn't know how to heal a mermaid—the anatomy is different, and she isn't sure whether her magic will even work the same way on it. The logical thing to do would be to just leave it here and not worry about it. Let nature take its course. And honestly, there is no love lost between mermaids and humans. They're viewed as dangerous creatures that are better off dead so that they can't endanger more sailors, and she's even heard of some towns putting bounties out on them.

But every fiber of her being rebels against the idea of letting the mermaid die for reasons she can't even begin to fathom. Tissaia finds herself shifting closer until she can carefully—ever so carefully, being mindful of the frills and spines—pull the mermaid more or less into her lap. She tries not to make a habit of using portals since it makes it easier than she would like for other mages to monitor her movements, but there's no way she can treat the mermaid on the beach like this.

Chaos ripples through the air as she conjures a portal underneath them, and they drop onto her kitchen floor with a thud. She stands and immediately begins grabbing various ingredients from the shelves, combining them in a small bowl. If she can transform the mermaid into a human form, then she may be able to heal it and save its life.

She empties the flask of algae into the bowl and hopes that it will be enough. Ideally she would be able to experiment with the dosing since she's never administered this potion to a mermaid, but there's no time for that.

When everything is mashed and combined into a murky liquid, Tissaia takes the bowl and kneels next to the mermaid. She raises the bowl to its lips and pours a little of the potion into its mouth, running her fingers down its throat to encourage the muscles to swallow. She repeats the process until the bowl is empty and then sets it down on the floor next to them before turning her attention back to the mermaid. 

A twinge of anxiety makes her lips twist into a faint frown as she looks down at the mermaid. She's never worked on one before and there's always the chance that transforming it into a human might make things worse rather than better. But the creature's breathing is growing steadily raspier (and Tissaia tucks a question away in the back of her mind about how mermaids can breathe both under and above water), and she reminds herself that doing nothing is as good as sentencing it to death.

She takes a few seconds to ground herself, forcing the anxiety from her body and calling up her chaos. The potion is already in effect and she can feel the molecules that make up the mermaid's being begin to rearrange as she lifts her hands and begins the spell.

The words flow freely from her mouth and weave a net of magic around them both. Tissaia grits her teeth and presses her hands into the mermaid's chest to hold it down when it begins to twitch and thrash about on the floor, pained moans spilling from its mouth. It remains blessedly unconscious as she continues the casting, though, and she feels the cool skin beneath her fingers transform into the soft warmth of human flesh. 

When the haze of magic clears from the air as she completes the casting, Tissaia looks down and almost gasps at the beautiful young woman now lying on the floor in front of her. The woman looks to be in her twenties and has bronzed skin with dark raven hair. She's objectively stunning—and also very naked on Tissaia's floor. 

There are more pressing matters to worry about than clothing, however, as Tissaia's attention returns to the wound in the woman's side. It's as large as the palm of her hand, and Tissaia winces when she reaches forward and presses both of her hands against it to begin the healing. She feels for the edges of the injury with her magic, painstakingly knitting flesh and muscle back together. She can't feel any internal damage, which is a miracle considering the size of the wound, and she wonders if mermaid internal organs might be positioned differently within the abdomen. If such an injury had been dealt while the mermaid was human, Tissaia has no doubt the damage would have been too severe for even the most talented of healers.

By the time the skin across the wound mends and puckers into a scar, Tissaia is panting and drained. But the woman in front of her is breathing easily again, and there's a bit of color coming back into her cheeks. Tissaia leans back against a table leg to catch her breath for a second before she pushes herself to her feet and draws up a last bit of chaos to lift the young woman into the air and over to the bed in the next room. She digs through her closet and grabs a spare linen shift that she slides over the woman's head and tugs down the length of her body. The woman's skin is warm to the touch, so Tissaia decides to leave her on top of the blankets for the moment.

She goes back into the kitchen and begins to clean up the mess she's made. There's a pool of brackish blood on her floor and she knows that her own clothing is stained as well, but she figures there's no sense changing into fresh clothes just yet. She mops the blood up, electing to use non-magical methods given how much chaos she's just expended, and puts the various ingredients she'd used for the potion back on the shelves in their respective places. 

When the kitchen is clean, Tissaia goes to the small room where she keeps the tub for bathing. She doesn't feel like dealing with drawing enough water for a proper bath and going to the trouble of warming it, so she settles for heating a small jug of water and using a rag to clean her body once she's stripped off her wet clothing. It would be nice to wash her hair, but as she wipes the grime and salt and blood from her skin she can feel her nerves settling. When she re-enters the kitchen in a fresh dress and her hair re-braided into a neat plait, she can almost imagine that there is nothing out of the ordinary in her small home.

She stokes the fire and hangs the kettle for a mug of tea. She's got no idea what to do now that she's got a mermaid-turned-human asleep in her bed. There's no way of knowing what the creature will do once she wakes; she may be bound in a human form now, but Tissaia harbors no illusions about her having a human brain. She still doesn't understand what compelled her to attempt to save the mermaid in the first place. Theoretically she can transform the mermaid back into her original form, but not without the aid of the potion—and she's in no shape to make the trek back down to the beach in the dark to try to get more of the algae. That means at least a month of the mermaid being in human form, and she doesn't expect the mermaid to take kindly to that.

A muffled sound from the bedroom catches her attention and she moves to the doorway and peers in. The mermaid is moving restlessly in the bed, and Tissaia steps closer so that she can place a soothing hand against the woman's forehead. She's taken aback when the woman's eyes open, trapping her in a violet gaze as a strong hand catches her by the wrist. 

"What have you done to me?"

The woman's voice is rough and she glares at Tissaia. Tissaia keeps her own tone calm and even when she replies, "What I had to, to save your life."

The mermaid looks at her for a moment longer and then drops back against the pillows on the bed, her hand falling away from Tissaia's wrist. "You should have let me die," she murmurs, soft enough that Tissaia almost doesn't hear her. The comment piques Tissaia's interest, but she knows that now is not the time for an interrogation. 

Instead, she settles for asking, "What's your name?" 

There's a moment of hesitation when she doesn't think the mermaid will answer her, mistrust clear on the younger woman's face, but then she sighs and says, "Yennefer."

"Yennefer," Tissaia repeats quietly. "I'm Tissaia." The mermaid nods, and Tissaia takes a step back. "I'm making tea. Would you like some?"

She gets another nod in response and turns away to go back to the kitchen. Waking up as a human has to have been a shock, even above and beyond the injury the mermaid had suffered, and she imagines giving Yennefer a little space to come to terms with it all is probably good.

It doesn't take her long to make the tea, but she waits a bit before going back just to give the mermaid more time to herself. She's about to open her mouth and ask if the mermaid wants any sugar in her tea when she gets to the doorway of the room and sees that Yennefer has fallen back asleep. She looks so young and innocent lying there in the bed; not at all like the type of woman—or mermaid—to think herself deserving of death. But Tissaia knows enough about appearances hiding the truth of what lies below the surface not to question it. Clearly there is something that has happened to the mermaid that resulted in death seeming to be the best option, though Tissaia remains glad that she saved her anyways.

She goes back into the kitchen and sits down at the table with her tea, sipping it slowly. This has been quite the unexpected development in her day, and she has a sneaking suspicion that Yennefer coming into her life is only going to get more complicated from here on out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who commented on the first chapter and left kudos! This one is shaping up to be a fun ride :)

"You can come in and sit down, you know." 

Tissaia doesn't bother glancing up from the potion she's mixing as she speaks, already knowing what she'll see if she does. It's been two days since she rescued the mermaid—rescued  _ Yennefer _ —and things have been awkward, to say the least. 

Rather than gratitude, Tissaia has found herself on the receiving end of anger and accusations galore. Everything from snippy comments about how Tissaia must not be a very powerful mage at all if she can't reverse the transformation without the aid of the potion to ridiculous theories that this is all part of some twisted plan to study mermaids and hold her captive has been thrown in her face. 

Her patience is wearing thin (understandably so, she thinks), and she's decided that she will continue to be courteous but won't go out of her way to try to win the mermaid over. She's done everything possible to convey to Yennefer that she is welcome to leave if she desires, but that there are no guarantees that can be made about her safety once she is outside of Tissaia's purview. 

The whole thing is a bit of a mess, honestly. Tissaia doesn't think that King Esteril would take kindly to learning that she's taken in a mermaid—even one that is now in human form. He's never taken a formal stance on the mermaid bounties, but his silence is enough of an indication that he tacitly condones them even if he does not outright support them. 

His mage consorting with and harboring a mermaid in her personal domicile would likely go over with the general populace about as well as news of a new war. Most people didn't trust her to begin with—she remains something of an outcast on the very edge of Lan Exeter even after nearly thirty years of faithful service with no issues—and this new development would be all the evidence they needed that they had been right about her all along. 

It's certainly in Tissaia's best interest for Yennefer to stay safely in her cottage until she's able to turn her back to her natural form and return her to the ocean (ideally without anyone ever being the wiser). She could try to bind the woman to keep her from wandering too far, but she can't quite bring herself to speak the words that would trigger the spells. 

Something about the wild, trapped look in Yennefer's eyes every time she glances at the walls surrounding her, or looks down at her human body, is all too familiar to Tissaia. Not the exact experience, obviously, but she knows what it feels like to be trapped in a world not of your choosing, and she refuses to be responsible for adding another layer of power and control over the mermaid.

It's also in Yennefer's best interest to remain as far away as possible from other people. If they get a whiff of her true nature, they won't hesitate to kill her. Tissaia doesn't know whether the mermaid truly understands the danger they re both in as a result of their current situation, though she's done her best to impress upon her the gravity of the consequences they could face should the truth of Yennefer's identity make its way into the wrong ears. Lan Exeter is small enough that people notice strangers quickly—more so when they are strangers who happen to be affiliated with Tissaia.

All of that said, she remains unable to convince Yennefer that she is genuinely trying to act in her best interests. The mermaid has not said more than a few words since that first night when she told Tissaia her name, choosing instead to reply to her with nods and grunts. She won't sit down and eat with Tissaia, just lingers in doorways and then sneaks into the room for just long enough to grab her food and hurry back out again. 

She's not the worst houseguest Tissaia has ever had (that honorable distinction goes to a witcher and bard she'd hosted a decade or so back. The witcher had been grimy and reticent, while the bard talked more than Tissaia had known was possible. When they'd departed she had never been so happy to have blessed silence in her cottage), but she's also far from the best. Tissaia wishes she knew what to do to make the mermaid more comfortable, but she thinks at this point she's done all she can. She'll continue to be cordial, but more than that will have to be initiated by Yennefer.

Tissaia finishes with the potion and pours it into a small flask to mature for a few days. It's a new recipe she's working on adapting from traditional sleeping draughts, but she has yet to get it quite right. She looks up and finds Yennefer leaning against the doorway watching her closely. 

The younger woman looks like the picture of health. At a glance, nobody would ever guess that two days prior she was not only human, but was also on death's doorstep. Now her skin practically glows a warm copper tone, dark raven hair tumbling in lustrous waves about her shoulders. Tissaia had asked her what clothing she would prefer, and when Yennefer had merely shrugged, Tissaia had sighed and conjured up a few basic dresses. 

They're all black, though some have a few accents of greens and blues that remind Tissaia of the colors on the mermaid's fins and frills. The dresses fit much better than the linen shift Tissaia had clothed the younger woman in that first night—Tissaia is a few too many inches shorter for them to share clothing and not have it look hilariously awkward on Yennefer. The mermaid still fidgets with the cloth, clearly unused to wearing such constricting materials, but she tolerates it, and that's really all Tissaia supposes she can ask. The last thing she needs it a naked Yennefer wandering about. 

It's bad enough to already know what the younger woman looks like beneath the dresses—Tissaia's treacherous brain made sure to commit every curve to memory in spite of her best attempts not to look immediately following the transformation. She isn't sure whether it's truly just been too long since she's taken a lover or if her mind's inability to think of anything besides the mermaid is something purely related to Yennefer. 

A nagging suspicion in the back of her brain tells her that this is unlike anything she's experienced before and that it cannot merely be the result of extended sexual frustration, but she forces those thoughts down. She'll find someone to take the edge off when she no longer has to share her home with Yennefer—Rita, perhaps, the next time she passes through. 

Yennefer doesn't say anything as Tissaia meets her eyes, and the mage sighs. "I left a plate for you on the hearth, if you want it." She stands and leaves the small kitchen, brushing past Yennefer to get to the bedroom. The mermaid slinks the rest of the way into the kitchen as soon as Tissaia has vacated it, and Tissaia's mouth ticks up at one corner when she hears the tell-tale clink of Yennefer picking up the plate from the stone hearth. At least she doesn't have to worry about her starving.

Tissaia changes quickly into her sleeping shift and settles down in bed. After the first night she'd moved Yennefer into the spare bedroom so that she could have a space for herself. She'd made it clear that the mermaid could come get her at any point if she needed something, but so far Yennefer has not set foot into the room since leaving it that first morning. Every so often when she passes by the doorway Tissaia will catch her glancing in, an almost curious look on her face, but she never pauses or says anything.

She wishes she could better understand what Yennefer is thinking about...well, about everything. The mermaid was injured almost to the point of death, was apparently ready to let herself die, and then woke up as a human who now has to wait until the next full moon before she can be returned to her rightful form. 

It would be a lot for anyone to take in, but Yennefer seems determined to give no indication about her thoughts on it all. More than once, Tissaia has contemplated using a bit of magic to peer into the mermaid's mind just to ensure she isn't planning anything deadly, but Yennefer hasn't done anything to justify such an intrusion. 

Morals and ethics and general respect for autonomy are rather frustrating limits on how much use Tissaia can make of her powers at times. It would be so simple to stretch out her mind and get some answers...but she won't. She rolls her eyes at herself, knowing that instead of taking the easy way she'll practically drive herself mad with the wondering, and probably never get answers anyways.

Tissaia rolls over in bed with a small huff and pulls the coverlet up to her chin. She can only hope that her patience may slowly wear Yennefer down and make their remaining weeks together less tense.

###

When she jolts awake, heart pounding and a scream caught in her throat, it takes Tissaia a few seconds to figure out what's woken her. Normally when the nightmares come she is helpless to do anything but ride them out until the first rays of the morning sun break through and put an end to the terror. Now, however, she can still see the faint glow of the moon coming through the window. If she had to guess she'd say it's still in the very early hours of the morning—or very late at night, depending on one's interpretation. Something different must have brought her out of the dream.

"Tissaia?"

She jumps a little at the voice and then stills. Yennefer. Of course. 

"What is it?" she asks, trying to modulate her voice and hide the hoarseness. "Do you need something?"

"You were screaming in your sleep," Yennefer replies with a pointed look. "I should be the one asking you that question."

Ah. Well that's embarrassing. It's been so long since she's had another person around for one of her nightmares that she'd forgotten that was even something she had to worry about. And besides, her nightmares have been far fewer over the last several years. It's been months since her last one, so she thinks she can be forgiven for not thinking of trying to prevent this from happening.

"Just a bad dream," Tissaia says. "I'm sorry for waking you." She tries not to let her heart warm at the knowledge that not only is this the most Yennefer has spoken to her so far, but that the younger woman heard her and came to try to help. 

Yennefer purses her lips and shakes her head. "That wasn't just a dream. A memory, or part of one maybe, but not a dream."

Tissaia freezes and looks at the younger woman carefully. "Why do you say that?" she asks, stomach twisting unpleasantly. 

"We have magic of our own. Different from yours, and I cannot fully access it in this form, but it's enough for me to know some things."

"You can read minds?" Tissaia says sharply, the thought disturbing her. She hasn't been actively shielding her thoughts around Yennefer because she didn't think there was a need, but if the mermaid has been skimming for information...

"I can." Yennefer meets Tissaia's eyes and holds them. "But you have given me the courtesy of not prying into my mind, and so I have done the same."

"Then how?" Tissaia asks. She wants to believe that Yennefer has not been poking around in her head, that she hasn't been terribly foolish to leave her guard down so much around the mermaid, but the younger woman's comment about the nightmares being memories rather than dreams makes that difficult.

Yennefer looks down at the bed before her eyes flit back up to Tissaia's. "You were...projecting rather forcefully, when I came into the room," she says delicately. Tissaia barely resists the urge to bury her face in her hands at this fresh embarrassment. 

"I'm sorry, Yennefer," she says with a sigh. "I assure you it was never my intent to accost you in such a way. My self-control is generally much better during waking hours." It's bordering on humiliating to slip up so dramatically in front of the one person she's currently trying her hardest not to scare off, but she supposes the fact that Yennefer is still here and hasn't taken off yet is a good sign.

The mermaid waves her apology off and they sit in silence for a few moments before Tissaia's brain returns to what Yennefer had said earlier.

"Mermaids have magic, then?"

Yennefer nods slowly. Her expression is cautious, but she says, "Yes. We try not to allow word of that to spread, however, so I would appreciate your discretion in the matter."

"Of course," Tissaia hastily agrees, "Forgive my curiosity. It's just impressive that you've managed to keep that tidbit hidden for so long. I imagine there are numerous people who would take a far greater interest in mermaids if they knew."

The mermaid's expression hardens slightly. "I'm sure there are, and not all of them with intentions as friendly as yours."

Tissaia lets the topic drop for the moment. It's enough that Yennefer has admitted that she sees Tissaia's intentions as friendly, or at least benign. This is more progress in the span of twenty minutes than she had thought they might make in the next month, and she doesn't want to push her luck.

She groans and pushes herself out of bed, shivering at the cold floor against her feet. "Would you like some tea? I find myself feeling rather awake."

Yennefer doesn't say anything, but she follows Tissaia into the kitchen and leans against the wall as the mage kindles the fire and heats the kettle.

"Why don't you just use magic?"

The question breaks the silence and Tissaia hesitates for a moment before replying. "I find it doesn't do to become overly reliant on magic. It may not always be there, and I don't intend to turn into a helpless maiden simply because I can no longer flick my wrist and bend my environment to my will."

It's the truth, albeit a bit too on the nose for comfort after the nightmare she's been having. But Yennefer accepts the explanation wordlessly and they don't speak again until the kettle begins to whistle. 

Tissaia pours two mugs and the fragrant aroma of lemon balm fills the air. She turns and offers one of the cups to Yennefer, and to her surprise the younger woman accepts it and sits down at the table next to her. It's so unexpected that Tissaia almost can't stop the smile that threatens to break across her face, but she manages to keep it to a small twitch of her lips. 

The two of them sit and sip their tea in silence, and Tissaia wonders what other surprises Yennefer might yet bring.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

They've reached a faintly uneasy truce in the wake of Tissaia's nightmare. Instead of the awkward distance between them that had previously existed, now there is a new hesitance. 

Tissaia is unsure what to make of it. For her part, she has been trying to contain all of her questions to avoid frightening Yennefer away again. The revelation that mermaids have magic has piqued her curiosity and she wants desperately to learn more about what they're capable of, how their society operates. She's naturally inquisitive, but while she would like the think that she would have the same questions no matter what mermaid had washed up on her shore, she can't deny that she's especially interested in hearing all of this from Yennefer's perspective. 

The younger woman is captivating and seems to leave Tissaia guessing in the best way possible at every turn. They've spoken relatively little since they had tea together following the nightmare, but every exchange leaves Tissaia with even more questions. She still doesn't know how Yennefer came to be so terribly injured, much less why the mermaid had said Tissaia should have let her die. Outright asking doesn't seem likely to garner a positive reception, and she's doing her best to bide her time and see whether Yennefer might warm more to her. For purely scientific reasons, of course. She absolutely does _not_ think that Yennefer is stunningly beautiful. That would be a fool's errand, to fall in love or like or _anything_ , really, with a member of a different species. 

It's not unheard of, of course—there were mages who loved elves, once upon a time, and even now there are those who frown on mages consorting with humans given the vastly different lifespans. But those are all relationships between relatively human groups that share living habits. Though it might not be for a few weeks yet, Tissaia knows that Yennefer is destined to return to the sea. Anything between them—even friendship—is bound to end in heartbreak when they're inevitably separated.

So she tries to content herself with the relative quiet between them and not get her hopes up for anything else. And perhaps that would have been fine and they would have simply coexisted until it was time to transform Yennefer once more, were it not for what happens on one of her daily walks.

Tissaia is on a wooded path that skirts the edge of the village when she hears a faint whimper coming from some bushes up ahead. Most of the creatures that live this far north keep to themselves and don't bother humans unless provoked, but she still hesitates before deciding to approach. As she draws nearer she catches a glimpse of wiry grey fur and her nervousness dissipates when she realizes that it's just a dog. A massive dog, like one of the wolfhounds the king sometimes hunts with, but still not dangerous in the way that a monster would have been.

It's sprawled on its side, and it doesn't get up as she kneels next to it. She can see blood matting the fur on its side and she runs careful fingers along its ribs, feeling for the edges of the wound. The dog looks up at her with dark, trusting eyes and does not protest even though she's quite sure that it's in a great deal of pain. Her face sets into a deep frown when she's able to move enough of the hair out of the way to get a decent look at the dog's injury. It was clearly inflicted deliberately, likely at the hands of one of the villagers, the clean slice only possible from a metal blade. 

She has no idea how the dog ended up all the way out here with such a grievous injury, but she has no intention of leaving it to suffer and die a slow, miserable death in the bushes. It's too large for her to carry, and for the second time in recent memory Tissaia finds herself reluctantly opening a portal to her cottage so that she can drag an injured creature home with her.

Yennefer is sitting in the kitchen when Tissaia portals back in, and she stares at the dog that is now laying on the floor at her feet. "Do I even want to know why you've brought a dog the size of a small horse back with you?" she asks with a raised brow. Tissaia just rolls her eyes and gestures at the shelves of potions.

"Fetch me the yarrow and rosehip tincture." While the mermaid sorts through the bottles to find the right one, Tissaia waves a hand and conjures up a few clean rags. The dog whines and she runs a soothing hand along the side of its face. "Just a little longer," she murmurs softly. 

"Here," Yennefer says, thrusting a small dark flask at Tissaia. The smaller woman takes it and pulls out the stopper, pouring a generous amount of the viscous liquid onto one of the rags.

"Boil some water, would you?" Tissaia asks, not looking up from her task as she presses the fresh poultice onto the wound. She winces in sympathy, knowing it will hurt more before the herbs stop the bleeding and numb the pain, but the dog doesn't react other than to shift a little beneath her hands. 

By the time the kettle is whistling, Tissaia has managed to bind the dog's ribs to hold the poultice in place and the poor creature appears to have dozed off. She jumps a little when a mug of tea is unexpectedly thrust at her face.

"I don't know if this is what you had in mind when you asked for boiling water, but you look like you could use it," Yennefer says gruffly. Tissaia accepts the cup with a nod of thanks and scoots on the floor until she can rest her back against the wall. Getting up seems like more work than it's worth at the moment.

She's surprised for a second time when Yennefer gingerly sits down beside her and sips at her own mug, eyes never leaving the dog. It's clear that the mermaid has something on her mind, but Tissaia waits patiently to see if she'll ask if unprompted. It takes several long minutes broken only by the faint crackling in the hearth before Yennefer blurts out, "You're not one of those types with a savior complex, are you?" 

The question is asked with such deep suspicion and mistrust, and it's so entirely unexpected, that Tissaia can't stop the snort of laughter that escapes her.

"No, my dear," she says once she’s gotten herself under control, "I am about as far from a savior as one can get."

"But you saved me," Yennefer points out, "And now this dog. So clearly you have a habit of getting involved in situations like this."

Tissaia sighs and looks away. "What I have a habit of is not standing idly by while innocent creatures die if there is something I can do about it." Yennefer is silent for a few moments, and the mage wonders if she's exhausted this line of questioning, but then the mermaid speaks again.

"You didn't know if I was innocent when you found me on the beach. You still don't."

"But I had no reason to believe you weren't worthy of being saved either, and sometimes that is enough," Tissaia replies quietly. The words don't seem to satisfy Yennefer, but the younger woman doesn't say anything else. Tissaia makes a mental note of the time as the sun slips below the horizon out the window, casting shadows across the interior of the cottage. She'll need to change the dog's poultice in a few hours and perhaps offer it some water if it's interested, but for the moment she can rest.

###

She dozes off at some point, and when she wakes she's confused for a split second until it all comes rushing back. She's on her kitchen floor with an injured dog napping a few feet away...and apparently a napping Yennefer resting next to her, if the warm weight against her side is any indication. 

Tissaia blinks a few times to clear the sleep from her eyes and she's helpless to stop the warm swell in her chest at the sight of Yennefer fast asleep with her head nestled on the mage's shoulder. The mermaid looks younger in sleep, her face less guarded. In the soft glow emanating from the hearth, she looks almost ethereally beautiful, and Tissaia has to swallow hard against the emotion that wells in her throat at the sight.

It's a fool's errand to even contemplate the tug in her chest when she looks at Yennefer. Tissaia scoffs quietly at her herself and carefully shifts so that she can slide out from beneath the younger woman. Yennefer mutters in her sleep and a faint furrow appears on her brow, but she doesn't waken and Tissaia pushes herself to her feet.

She pads silently over to the hearth and stokes the embers, breathing new life into them. There are a few odds and ends left from the previous day's supper, and she adds them all to a small bowl that she hangs over the coals to warm. She turns her attention to the dog, and she's pleased to find it awake and watching her curiously. 

"You certainly look better than you did earlier," she murmurs softly, careful to keep her voice down so as not to disturb Yennefer. "Let me take a look at those bandages and then we'll get you fed."

The dog pants and keeps one eye on her but does not protest or try to move away when she unwinds the bandages and peels the poultice away. Now that it's not actively bleeding Tissaia can get a better look at the extent of the damage, and she hums under her breath as she pokes at the injury. The slice has gone clean through the top layer of skin and muscle over the dog's ribcage, and a gleam of white bone is barely visible at the bottom of the wound. It's a miracle the creature survived at all, much less long enough for her to find it and bring it back with her.

"You've got more luck than most humans," Tissaia says with a sigh. It will take time, but the blessing of the injury being dealt by a blade is that it should heal neatly with minimal damage to the surrounding tissue. If she can keep it clean and keep the dog quiet while it recovers, the poultices will be all that is needed.

Tissaia grabs the tincture from where she'd set it on the table earlier and pours out just enough to saturate a fresh rag. She folds it and arranges it over the wound as gently as she can before winding the longer strips of bandaging back around the dog's stomach to keep everything in place. The dog lets out a loud sigh as soon as she's done, and Tissaia can't help but chuckle at the expression on its face.

"All right," she says, gathering up the soiled rags as she gets back to her feet, "You've been plenty cooperative. Time for food."

The bowl over the fire is warmed through when she checks it with a finger, and she pours a little extra water over the mixture to soften the bread. She sets it down in between the dog's massive front paws and the dog glances up at her as if waiting for permission. "Go on," she says with a wave of her hand. As soon as the words are out of her mouth the dog dives in, practically inhaling the food until nothing is left but the empty bowl. Tissaia makes a mental note to pick up some additional food the next time she's at the market. She can't get too much without arousing suspicion, but between Yennefer and now the dog she doubts her normal rations will be sufficient for the coming weeks.

She fills the bowl back up with fresh water and offers it to the dog once more, waiting for it to drink its fill before moving the bowl out of the way so it doesn't get knocked over. By the time she looks back to the dog, it's already stretched back out on its side with its eyes closed, a content look on its face.

"You're good with him."

Tissaia starts at the words and turns to find Yennefer watching her with an inscrutable expression. She wonders how long the younger woman has been awake, flushing a little under the scrutiny. "Him?" she asks, hoping to distract from her discomfort.

"Yes, him," Yennefer says with a pointed look. "Did you not bother checking?"

"No, I was a little preoccupied with saving his life," Tissaia snaps back. It comes out sharper than she intended, but Yennefer doesn't even blink.

"If you're planning on keeping him around, he'll need a name," she says thoughtfully. "Something regal, I think."

Tissaia rolls her eyes and slides down the wall until she's seated next to Yennefer once more. "You can name him in the morning," she replies. "No good can come of naming the poor creature in the middle of the night when we're both half asleep."

Yennefer doesn't say anything in response, just relaxes back against the wall. They sit quietly for a few minutes before Tissaia looks over at her. "You can go to bed, if you want. I'm going to stay out here with him just in case, but I imagine you'll be more comfortable in a bed than on the floor."

"I was quite comfortable until my pillow left," Yennefer retorts, and there's something flashing in her eyes that Tissaia doesn't know how to interpret. It's playful and curious and testing all at once, and the mage bites her lip, unsure of how to respond. Finally, she settles on simply saying, "I can make no promises about not interrupting your sleep further if I need to get up and tend to him." 

"Then I shall have to make the most of what sleep I can get," Yennefer says without missing a beat. Before Tissaia realizes what's happening, the mermaid is sliding down and curling on her side so that her head is pillowed in Tissaia's lap. It's by far the most physical contact they've had, and Tissaia's breath catches in her throat when Yennefer twists so that she can look up at her, raven hair fanned out across the mage's fabric-covered thighs. "Wake me if you need to get up."

There's a mischievous smirk hinting at the corners of the mermaid's mouth, the corners of her eyes barely crinkled with mirth as if she knows exactly how effectively she has short-circuited Tissaia's brain. But what Tissaia can't figure out is _why_. What can Yennefer possibly gain from flustering her like this, aside from the satisfaction of rendering her speechless?

When Tissaia doesn't say anything, Yennefer rolls back over and it's not long before Tissaia hears her breathing settle into the deep rhythm of sleep. For her part, she's suddenly feeling very awake. Even through the thick woven material of her skirts she swears she can feel the warm puffs of breath escaping Yennefer's mouth against her skin. She knows it's not true, but sitting and _imagining_ what it might feel like to have the younger woman pressed so closely against her without the barrier of clothing in the way is more than enough to make her heart leap in her chest.

She takes several slow breaths to try to calm herself. Just as she thinks she's beginning to get her emotions under control, Yennefer turns over and nuzzles her face into Tissaia's stomach, one hand coming up to fist lightly in the material of the mage's skirts. Tissaia freezes, terrified that the slightest move might wake the younger woman and she'll be able to see the conflict written across Tissaia's features. But Yennefer just murmurs a little in her sleep and sighs, her fingers flexing once where they're gripping Tissaia's skirt before relaxing again.

Tissaia's own fingers itch to comb through the dark hair spilling over her legs, to tease out the tangles one by one. It would be crossing a line—several, in fact—to do such a thing while Yennefer is asleep and unable to consent, but that doesn't stop her from wanting. She keeps her hands firmly at her sides, tracing her fingertips over the rough grain of the wooden floorboards until she can be certain she won't do anything foolish. 

Unfortunately, every time she starts to drift off, Yennefer shifts or mumbles in her sleep and it reignites the conflict simmering in Tissaia's stomach. She finally gives up on getting any sleep after being jolted awake for what feels like the hundredth time. The dog cracks an eyelid at her huff before lazily shutting it and going back to sleep, and Tissaia is almost jealous of him...but only almost. Because in spite of the fact that it means she's going to be a cranky, sleep-deprived mess in the morning, she still is being gifted an unexpected closeness with Yennefer. And that damned pull she can't explain, the tug in her chest that feels as if it's physically drawing her to the mermaid like a magnet, won't let her regret a little lost sleep when just this morning she'd been resigned to passing the next several weeks with Yennefer in stilted silence.

Tissaia sighs and leans her head back against the wall. It's going to be a long night, but as Yennefer snuffles a little in her sleep and inches even closer, she thinks that perhaps that's not the worst thing in the world.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone reading and commenting and leaving kudos! Next chapter will see us getting into more of the mermaid lore, and perhaps a bit of insight into Tissaia's past as well :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slight delay, idk where the time goes these days! Enjoy :)

"Cafall."

Tissaia looks up from the dress she's mending and sees Yennefer petting the grey dog's head. He's looking considerably perkier this morning after scarfing down another bowl of leftovers with such glee that she'd been hard pressed to contain a chuckle. Yennefer sees the questioning look the mage is giving her and clarifies. "That's his name. Cafall."

"That's quite the royal name for a stray mutt," Tissaia replies, but there's no bite to the words. The dog is as regal as any she's ever met, stray or no, and the name seems fitting.

"He'll live up to it," Yennefer says with a small smile, her fingers toying with the wiry hair along the top of the dog's head. She says it with such certainty that Tissaia can't resist poking just a bit, her curiosity seizing the opportunity.

"Is this some other form of mermaid magic? You can communicate with animals and see their future?" She keeps her tone light, but she thinks she's been found out regardless when Yennefer rolls her eyes.

The mermaid leans down so that she's looking right into Cafall's deep brown eyes. "Mages are quite silly, aren't they?" she murmurs. "Always dancing around the truth of things instead of simply saying what's on their mind." She looks back up at Tissaia and directs her next words at the smaller woman. "You're curious about how my magic works."

It's a statement, not a question, and Tissaia decides that protesting is futile. "I am," she says with a nod, "But I wasn't sure whether you would wish to discuss it."

Yennefer regards her quietly for a moment and Tissaia fights not to squirm under the scrutiny. Finally, the mermaid seems to come to a decision and she relaxes, her posture losing its defensive edge. "It's not terribly different from your own, in terms of what we can do with it. Looking at thoughts, manipulating the environment around us—even transformation. But the source of it is different."

"The source?" Tissaia questions. "What do you mean?"

"Where does your magic come from?"

The question makes Tissaia pause for a second. It's almost strange, to try to pinpoint something that exists everywhere around her without effort. "Chaos is in the threads that make up the fabric of the universe," she eventually says. "And those threads have a life and an energy all their own that can be used to many ends."

Yennefer nods. "Yes. And that chaos is what your magic is rooted in. Connected to everything all at once. Our magic is more..." she trails off and seems to be searching for the right word. "It's more focused. It springs from the ocean, and the same water that gives us life is what enables our connection to the world around us. Where you might manipulate the threads of chaos, I would call upon the water that is in each and every living thing to work to my ends and fuel my magic."

"That's why you said your magic works differently in this form," Tissaia says, her mind turning over this new information. "Because you're limited by how little water there is around us on land."

"You catch on quickly," Yennefer says with a faint smile. The praise makes Tissaia flush, and she tries to change the subject to distract from it.

"So if you were in your natural form in the ocean, then you would be able to do much the same as me?"

"And then some," the mermaid retorts with a wink. "The things we know go far beyond the scope of your stuffy academic halls."

Tissaia is about to respond with a teasing jab of her own when something occurs to her. Her brow furrows a little and she asks, "If you're so powerful, then how did you come to be so terribly injured when I found you?"

It's like an iron gate has come crashing down between them the second the question leaves her lips. Yennefer's face shutters, devoid of all warmth and openness, and her eyes harden. "Power does not mean invincibility," she says sharply. “I would have thought a mage such as yourself would understand that.”

Tissaia opens her mouth to apologize, but Yennefer cuts her off with a jerky shake of her head. 

“It’s fine,” she says as she shoves herself to her feet. “I think I’ll go for a walk. Don’t worry about waiting up for me.”

The last bit is meant to reassure her and smooth over the tension that is choking the kitchen, but it makes Tissaia’s lips purse. There’s nothing she can think of to say that won’t exacerbate Yennefer’s ire, so she just nods as the mermaid sweeps out of the cottage, the door closing behind her with a thump. 

Tissaia sighs and glances back down at the dress she was working on before setting it aside. 

"I don't think I'll be doing much more on that this afternoon," she says dryly to Cafall. He blinks up at her with soulful eyes and she shakes her head at him. "Come on, then, let's change your bandages. At least I can do this one thing right."

The minutes tick by into hours with no sign of Yennefer returning, and Tissaia feeds both herself and Cafall dinner as the sky darkens into night. She sets a plate on the hearth for the mermaid in case she wants it and changes Cafall's poultice one more time before heading to her bedroom. 

As she gets ready for bed she debates for a moment on whether it's acceptable to check up on Yennefer. The mermaid had said not to wait up for her, but a kernel of worry still sits heavily in Tissaia’s stomach at the thought of the younger woman wandering about in the dark. Cafall’s state when she found him is evidence enough that not all of the villagers have kindly dispositions, and all that anyone would see if they happened upon Yennefer is a beautiful, defenseless young woman alone at night. Yennefer may have magic of her own, but Tissaia doesn’t know exactly what limits the mermaid is operating under given her human form. 

Deciding that a quick check won’t hurt, she casts her mind out into the lands around the cottage, just enough that she can find the threads of the younger woman's consciousness and assure herself that Yennefer is alive and well, and then she pulls back. If the mermaid wants space and solitude, she can give her that so long as she knows that she’s safe. 

Tissaia crawls into her bed, lying on her back and staring up at the ceiling. Yennefer continues to perplex her. It seems to be a case of two steps back for every cautious step forward she's able to take, and she wonders if perhaps she's merely torturing herself with the false notion that the mermaid wants anything besides Tissaia turning her back into her natural form.

She lays awake for some hours, tossing and turning until she hears the quiet click of the cottage door swinging open, followed by the soft murmur of Yennefer's voice as she greets Cafall. Tissaia relaxes into the mattress when the scrape of the plate being picked up from the hearth reaches her ears. She hadn't realized just how worried she was that Yennefer might decide to stay away, or that something would happen to her.

Part of her wants to get out of bed and go talk to Yennefer now, to try to clear the air between them and apologize for prying earlier. But she thinks that giving both of them a chance to sleep on things is likely the better choice, and so she forces herself to stay tucked beneath the coverlet until she hears soft footsteps leave the kitchen and go into Yennefer's room.

###

**_Please._ **

Tissaia is startled awake by Yennefer's voice in her head. The fear in that single word has her on her feet in an instant, and she runs into the younger woman's room without a second thought. Her eyes scan the room for the threat, but there's nothing—just Yennefer lying tangled in the bedsheets, a frown marring her features. She realizes that the mermaid is having a dream as limbs flail wildly despite her violet eyes remaining firmly shut.

**_Please, wait—_ **

This time, Yennefer's voice is accompanied by flashes of images slamming into Tissaia's brain like a gale force wind.

_ A ship sailing on stormy seas, seen from what she guesses must be Yennefer's perspective. _

_ Swimming closer to the ship until she is close enough to reach out and brush webbed hands against the rough grain of the wood. _

_ Circling the ship, looking for something— _

A strangled whimper jerks Tissaia from the vision and she shakes her head to clear it. Yennefer is thrashing back and forth on the bed, her movements growing more and more erratic. Tissaia steps closer until she can reach out and brush a tentative hand across the younger woman's brow.

"Yennefer." She tries to make her voice steady and clear in the hopes that it will cut through whatever dream has the mermaid in its grasp. "Wake up, Yennefer, you're safe, you're just dreaming."

Her words don't seem to have any effect. Tissaia worries her lower lip between her teeth before deciding that it's probably preferable to use a little magic rather than let the mermaid continue to suffer.

She reaches out with her mind until she's just barely brushing against the edge of Yennefer's mind. The turmoil and fear radiating out of the other woman is enough to make her nauseous, but Tissaia inhales slowly and forces herself to focus. Walking the line between having enough of a presence to wake her without slipping into her innermost thoughts and feelings is a challenge given the mermaid's chaotic mental state, but Tissaia is determined not to delve any deeper than is absolutely necessary. Whatever fragile trust is between them is important to her, and she has no intention of ruining it just because she got a little too enthusiastic with her mental machinations.

**_Yennefer. Wake up._ ** She speaks softly, knowing that there is no need to raise her voice when communicating telepathically. Shouting would likely be more jarring than anything, as evidenced by her own rude awakening.

Yennefer stirs on the bed but the dream is still fighting to keep her from waking. Tissaia reaches out with one hand and lets her fingertips press lightly at the soft skin along the inside of the mermaid's wrist as she tries again.  **_Wake up, darling. You're safe, it's just a dream._ **

The endearment comes out without any forethought and she winces, but makes no attempt to take it back. Time to deal with that later, if Yennefer remembers it at all. For now, though, she focuses her attention on the way that Yennefer's breath hitches and her eyes fly open as she finally breaks free from the dream and gasps herself awake.

She scrambles back against the headboard, blinking fast and looking around the room. There's a thin veil of confusion in her gaze and Tissaia ducks her head until she can catch the mermaid's eyes with her own. "It's me, Yennefer—Tissaia. You're here in my cottage, I brought you here after you were injured."

One of Yennefer's hands flies to her rib cage where the wound had been when Tissaia found her, but as the seconds tick by her face slowly clears and she straightens up a little. 

"I'm sorry."

Tissaia lifts one shoulder in a half-hearted shrug. "It seems I'm not the only one with nightmares." Yennefer looks at her sharply, and Tissaia remembers how exposed and vulnerable she had felt when she'd woken to find the mermaid standing nearby, unsure how much of her dream had been unknowingly projected out. "You projected a few flashes of what you were dreaming," she offers, "But I was able to wake you soon after."

Yennefer slumps against the pillows and scrubs a hand over her face, looking both incredibly young and also like someone old enough to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders. Tissaia gives her a moment to collect herself before quietly offering, "Tea?" When she gets a nod in response she turns and leaves the room, busying herself with stoking the fire and heating the water so as to give Yennefer a chance to collect herself in private. 

The whisper of feet against floorboards alerts her to the mermaid's approach, and Tissaia can't help the small smile that teases the corners of her lips when she looks over and sees Yennefer kneeling next to Cafall. The dog has lifted his head just enough to rest it atop Yennefer's knee and is looking up at her with an expression that can only be described as abject devotion as she gently rubs his ears.

"You can change the poultice, if you like. While I finish the tea," she says, tipping her head at the flask of tincture that's sitting on the table. She's always found that having something to do with her hands helps shake the vestiges of her nightmares faster than anything else, and she figures it can't hurt to hope the same is true for Yennefer.

The mermaid picks up the flask and begins unwinding the bandages while Tissaia sets out two mugs and pours the tea. By the time Yennefer stands up and joins her at the table, the familiar scent of lemon balm is filling the air as the leaves steep. Tissaia slides a mug across and watches as Yennefer sips at the steaming liquid.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really." The reply is short, but is what Tissaia had expected when she asked the question. She nods and takes a drink from her own cup. When it becomes clear that Yennefer has no intention of saying anything else, Tissaia's lips twitch and she says, "You missed quite the thrilling afternoon, I must say."

"Oh?" One of Yennefer's eyebrows raises as she looks at Tissaia warily.

"Indeed," Tissaia replies. "Cafall and I got into terrible mischief." It's not true; she and Cafall had mostly just sat around and done nothing, but as she describes the mundane tasks she'd done around the cottage while trying not to pine over the fact that she'd caused Yennefer to run away, she can see the tension gradually sliding out of the mermaid's shoulders. By the time she's done, there's no more than a single swallow of cold tea left at the bottom of their mugs and Yennefer looks like she could fall back asleep right there at the table.

"Come on, then," Tissaia says with a soft look. "We'd best get back to bed or we'll be useless in the morning." They both stand and start towards the doorway that will lead them to their separate rooms. Before they can take more than two steps, however, Tissaia suddenly feels something catch her ankle and the next thing she knows she's falling in slow motion. She has just enough time to recognize two things as she frantically tries to regain her balance: first, her eyes flit down and she sees Cafall casually stretching, one enormous paw suddenly in prime tripping location. His expression looks mildly gleeful, and she thinks that she may need to reconsider her decision to help him if this is the thanks she gets.

The second thing she realizes—and the one that makes her heart stutter in her chest—is that her trajectory as she falls is going to send her crashing into Yennefer. And sure enough, as time resumes its normal speed, she finds herself running into Yennefer with enough force to send them both stumbling until they hit the wall. 

Tissaia is immediately aware of her reaction to their close proximity. Her initial momentum spun them around so that she's ended with her back pressed up against the wall, Yennefer's arms bracketing her on either side of her shoulders. They're pressed so closely together that she can feel every rise and fall of the mermaid's chest, can see the flecks of gold and black in her irises. Heat coils in her stomach as she realizes that only a few scant centimeters separate them.

It's shameful and far from ideal, but she is not necessarily surprised by any of her own responses to their position. What does catch her off guard, however, is the way that she sees Yennefer's eyes flick down to her lips, the pupils darkening just a shade, how the mermaid's breathing gets shallower as she presses closer rather than pulling away. If she didn't know better she would think that Yennefer  _ wanted _ her, but nagging doubt claws at the back of her mind, whispering that she's imagining it based on her own clouded desires.

She makes the mistake of inhaling deeply to try to fortify herself, and instead she finds herself inundated with the scent of the mermaid. The heady fragrance fogs her mind further, and it takes every ounce of her self-control to breathe out a "Sorry," and duck under Yennefer's arm so that she can put some distance between them. It's instantly just a bit easier to think, and she mumbles, "Clearly I'm more tired than I thought if I'm that clumsy."

She doesn't mention that Cafall had practically tripped her intentionally. It sounds silly even in her head, and she doesn't want to have Yennefer think her crazy in addition to clumsy. 

"I'm glad I could break your fall," Yennefer finally says back, and Tissaia can't tell if it's wishful thinking or if the younger woman's voice has genuinely dropped in timbre. She refuses to look over at the mermaid to see her reaction, and Tissaia fights back a shiver as she practically squeaks out, "I'm off to bed, then. Come get me if you need anything!" and flees into her bedroom.

She leans against the wall as soon as the door swings closed behind her. There's silence from the kitchen for a few seconds, then what sounds like a rough sigh followed by the squeak of Yennefer's door opening and closing. Tissaia sucks in a deep breath and tries to calm her racing pulse. She very nearly lost herself and kissed Yennefer, and it terrifies her how quickly and easily the younger woman has been able to undo centuries of tightly-held control. 

Even after she climbs into bed and curls onto her side, the memory of how Yennefer had looked at her swims behind her eyelids. 

_ Even if she did want it, this can never be, _ she reminds herself. She knows it's true, but as she slips into a fitful sleep, her dreams are haunted by visions of dark violet eyes and what might have happened if she hadn't shied away.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus points if you know where the dog's name comes from! Cafall is a total bro...if only Tissaia wasn't an idiot lol.


	5. Chapter 5

As Cafall grows stronger, so too do the feelings that swirl in Tissaia's chest every time she looks at Yennefer. What was originally fragile trust between them has blossomed into a tentative friendship. 

They pass the days in a mix of conversation and companionable silence. Never anything serious in nature is discussed, but Tissaia doesn't mind. She's content to let Yennefer keep some secrets, at least for now, if it means she gets to have the easy interactions between them now. 

Every day brings something new for her to appreciate. One morning it's the fact that Yennefer wakes early enough to put the kettle on and greets Tissaia with a wordless smile, pressing a steaming mug of tea into her sleepy hands. Another day they take a walk together, and when they stop to sit on a cliff overlooking the ocean, she sits close enough that Tissaia can feel the warmth of the younger woman's thigh pressed against her own. 

And then on a particularly confusing day, Yennefer disappears on one of the long walks she sometimes goes on, and when she comes back she has an impressive bouquet in hand. It's comprised of various sprigs of wood and berries rather than the more traditional flowers one might expect, but the knowledge that the mermaid had hunted for the few attractive plants able to withstand the biting cold and had taken the time to craft something beautiful out of them made them all the more precious to Tissaia. 

Yennefer had offered her the bouquet with a sweeping bow, violet eyes twinkling playfully, and Tissaia had fought down a blush as she accepted it and began bustling about the cottage for something to put it in.

So now she has a handmade bouquet sitting on her kitchen table, the memory of having Yennefer pressed warm and solid against her side seared into her brain, and an increasingly tangled mess of feelings churning in her chest. Of all the things she might have envisioned happening when she found an injured mermaid on the beach, this was not even remotely a possibility. 

It's absurd, but Yennefer has swiftly become the closest friend that Tissaia has. Oh, there are others that she sees every now and then—Margarita, Philippa, sometimes Triss or Sabrina. But they know only the barest pieces of her. When they visit there are no long walks in the woods and along the shore, no late-night conversations filled with muted laughter and soft smiles. It's not their fault, necessarily. 

She likes them all well enough, and she trusts them to help her if she ever needs it. But she can never in her life recall experiencing the type of pull that she does with Yennefer. It's as if the forces that normally keep her feet firmly pinned to solid ground have shifted, and now they make every fiber of her being yearn to be closer to the mermaid instead. 

The thing that continually surprises her, though, is that Yennefer doesn't appear opposed to their growing closeness. If anything, the mermaid seems to actively encourage it, all teasing words and smoldering glances. Tissaia thinks that if the younger woman had been born a human, she would have left a trail of broken hearts in her wake between her almost otherworldly beauty and her clever mind.

As things stand, Tissaia thinks that her own heart may yet be a casualty when the time comes for them to inevitably part. It's humorous in a dark, lonely way that the one person she feels this type of connection with is not a person at all, but rather a member of another species she has only met through happenstance and luck. It's the type of forlorn story that belongs in one of the tawdry books sold at the far end of the local market, the sort of forbidden romance that bored housewives and servants might read furtively in their spare moments. If they knew that the local mage that they already suspect of ill intent was involved in anything so scandalous as this...

The irony that  _ nothing has happened _ between her and Yennefer does nothing to quell the gnawing worry and shame that Tissaia feels. It was far more difficult than she cares to admit to tear herself away from Yennefer and not kiss her senseless in the kitchen the week before, and she doesn't know whether she would have the strength to resist again. She's one slip-up away from ruining everything, because while Yennefer has been game to play along thus far, Tissaia doubts the mermaid feels anything more than perhaps a passing physical attraction. 

Were it not for the sweet, soft side she's gotten glimpses of, she might think that the mermaid is merely interested in exploring what intimacy has to offer in human form. They haven't discussed sex or physical touch in mermaid culture, of course—Tissaia can't even begin to imagine how she would make it through that conversation without turning twenty shades of red and probably embarrassing herself horribly. But from the look of awe on Yennefer's face when they touch, even with how minor and innocent the contact usually is, she thinks that it's likely something of a new experience for the younger woman. 

Given that, she's tried to indulge Yennefer's interest and exploration while still maintaining some semblance of boundaries. She couldn't bear to simply be an itch that Yennefer scratches before returning to the sea; better to never know the sweetness of the mermaid's touch than to have it and know it didn't mean anything.

All things considered, she thinks she's doing a decent job of maintaining at least a sliver of distance—both physical and emotional— between them, up until the week before the full moon. They've started walking along the beach for hours at a time, sometimes talking and sometimes in silence, while they scan the rocky shore for any sign of the seaweed they need. Tissaia knows it won't appear yet, it really does only come at the full moon, but it gives them a way to pass the days—and it's an easy reason to spend her time with Yennefer. 

They're several miles from the cottage and she's explaining the properties of a new potion she's working on (only at Yennefer's request, as she hadn't wanted to bore the younger woman) when she glances over at Yennefer and sees the mermaid watching her with a curious expression. Tissaia stops talking and raises an eyebrow.

"What's that look for?"

"Why are you stuck way out here in this backwoods kingdom?"

The question is not at all what Tissaia had expected, and she halts as she tries to come up with a response. She can't think of why Yennefer would be asking about this, much less where the mermaid got the impression that she's stuck in Kovir, and it makes it rather difficult to know how to reply. Finally she gives up on formulating a coherent answer and just asks, "What do you mean?"

Yennefer makes a sweeping gesture at Tissaia. "Look at you, Tissaia. You're brilliant, probably more so than the majority of the mages on the Continent. I don't doubt that you're one of a very select few who could have managed my transformation even  _ with _ the aid of the potion. I just can't figure out why you're  _ here _ , of all places, when there are so many other kingdoms where you would have better resources. Where your talents would be put to better use than the occasional healing potion or luck charm." She pauses and looks Tissaia up and down with a critical eye. "You're plenty beautiful enough to grace the court of any king, that's not it. So why?"

Tissaia's head whirls from the sudden influx of information. She's not even going to think about the fact that Yennefer has just called her beautiful. That's...well, something that's probably better left unexamined. 

As for the rest of it...it's endearing, to hear that Yennefer apparently thinks quite highly of her. Unexpectedly sweet. But the answer to her questions is veering into exactly the kind of emotionally involved territory that Tissaia has been valiantly trying to avoid, and she bites her lip as she debates how best to answer. 

"You say that my talents would be put to better use in other kingdoms," she says slowly, the words turning over in her mind. Yennefer nods. 

"They would be. You can't tell me you wouldn't be some king's wet dream with how powerful you are."

Tissaia wrinkles her nose at the crude phrasing but doesn't otherwise comment on it, just says, "Yes, and that's exactly the problem." She looks over and sees Yennefer watching her with an adorably confused expression on her face. "I chose to come to Kovir, Yennefer. And I did that precisely because I knew the king would not trust my magic and wouldn't ask more than was absolutely necessary of me."

There's a beat of silence as Yennefer mulls over the response, and then her brow wrinkles into a frown. "But why? I don't understand why that's so important."

And of  _ course _ Yennefer would find a way to (perhaps unintentionally) get straight to the heart of things and force Tissaia to recall things she would much rather forget. Memories swirl at the edges of her periphery and Tissaia fights them back down. She doesn't need to give Yennefer that level of detail in order to justify things. 

"I have seen what happens when kings have access to seemingly unlimited power," is what she settles on saying. "I would not be part of the destruction that results."

Yennefer regards her silently for a moment, those sharp violet eyes scanning her face and leaving Tissaia feeling as if the mermaid can see into the very core of her being. She knows it's just her imagination; against her better judgment, she trusts Yennefer not to go searching in her mind without her consent no matter how great the younger woman's curiosity is. But it still leaves her feeling vulnerable and exposed, and she fights the urge to cross her arms protectively across her chest.

"You certainly are an odd mage," Yennefer finally says. The words come out fond, though, and make Tissaia feel as if it's not a bad statement. 

"Well," she sniffs, "If being odd means not being so power-hungry I'm willing to sacrifice anyone or anything to get there, then I'll consider that a compliment."

"It was, you daft woman," Yennefer says with a teasing smile. "For someone who has been alive for centuries, you still seem to have a remarkably difficult time picking up on the subtleties of basic conversation."

Tissaia rolls her eyes and shoves lightly at the mermaid's shoulder. "I'll have you know I'm actually  _ quite _ skilled at conversation. It's not my fault you consistently resort to childish methods of communication." She darts out of the way when Yennefer tries to return the playful push, only to fling out an arm to catch the mermaid when the younger woman stumbles. Her hand lands on Yennefer's upper arm and she tugs her back upright.

"Thanks," Yennefer breathes out. She twists her arm in Tissaia's grasp until she's able to slide the mage's hand into her own, twining their fingers together as they continue to wander down the beach. Tissaia stares at their joined hands with a bemused expression but quickly cuts her gaze away when she sees Yennefer look over at her with an expression hovering between smug and curious. 

Even without looking, however, she imagines she can feel the warmth of the mermaid's fingers through their gloves. She can't remember the last time she held hands with someone like this—or let someone hold her hand at all, for that matter—but it's nice. Laughter bubbles out of her chest when Yennefer begins to swing their arms between them, forcing Tissaia to pick up her pace to keep from getting dragged along.

"You're ridiculous," she murmurs, but her lips are curled into a faint smile. Yennefer just shakes her head and laughs.

"You say that, but I think you could use a little ridiculousness in your life, Tissaia. Get you to loosen up a little bit." The mermaid's eyes spark with mischief, and Tissaia raises a brow.

"And I suppose you think you're the one to give me that?"

"I want to, if you'll let me." 

Tissaia's heart flutters in her chest at the openness on Yennefer's face, the strength of the sincerity behind the words. There's a depth of longing reflected in violet eyes that makes her breath catch, and she watches with fascination as the mermaid's eyes flick down to her lips before sliding back up. This is the closest they've come to acknowledging the delicate balance between them, toeing the line between friendship and something more. Tissaia knows she should put a stop to this here and now, that it will spare her the inevitable heartbreak down the line, but she can't quite muster the words.

Instead, she steps closer to Yennefer and reaches out with barely-trembling hands to adjust the fall of the younger woman's scarf, arranging it neatly. "Well, you've got the next seven days to give me enough ridiculousness to last me once you go back to the ocean." She doesn't meet the mermaid's eyes as she speaks, just focuses on the scarf until there's not a fold out of place. Slender fingers catch her own and still them as Yennefer ducks her head to force Tissaia to look at her.

"You're not getting rid of me that easily," she says lightly, but her face is serious. "You live on the ocean, for goodness sake. We'll still be neighbors. The only difference is I won't be inside your house to make you go to bed when you fall asleep at the kitchen table."

Tissaia flushes, because it was just  _ one time _ but she doubts Yennefer will ever let her live it down, and tries to ignore the flicker of joy glowing in her chest at the fact that the mermaid has clearly given this whole thing some thought. 

"Well in that case, maybe tone down the antics and save some for later," she says with a smirk. She knows that Yennefer can see right through the attempt at snark though, because the younger woman just squeezes her hands and gives her a knowing look before stepping back and putting some space between them. Tissaia feels the loss almost immediately, but before she can even think to be upset about it, Yennefer has taken her by the hand and resumed their walk. 

They walk quietly for a few minutes, and Tissaia steals sidelong glances at the mermaid. If she's not careful, she could get used to this. And what's more, she's beginning to think that maybe that's not such a bad thing. Perhaps Yennefer is right and they don't have to part forever when the mermaid is returned to her rightful form. Different from what they have now, obviously, but Tissaia thinks she would take whatever she could get. It's a dangerous line of thinking, one that makes her heart swell with hope, but she allows herself a few moments of indulgence. 

She's pulled from her thoughts by Yennefer turning to grin at her. "Come on, I'll race you to that log up ahead. Loser has to make dinner."

Tissaia looks down the shoreline and sees a massive chunk of driftwood. She glances down at her boots and the uneven ground, then over at Yennefer, who is already gathering her skirts to keep them out of the way. "You can't be serious."

Yennefer waggles her eyebrows and then takes off at a sprint, calling over her shoulder, "You should make that tasty stew again!"

Groaning, Tissaia mutters a quick spell to keep her long skirts out of her way and sets off after the mermaid. It's remarkable, honestly, how Yennefer manages to bring out this side of her. Not in her wildest dreams would she have predicted being able to be goaded into racing down the beach like a child, her dress streaming behind her in the wind.

She chases Yennefer down the beach, their laughter ringing out across the shoreline and echoing back to them from the white stone cliffs. The mermaid beats her, unsurprisingly, but she almost catches her at the end and they collapse on the rocky ground, leaning back against the driftwood. Their shoulders brush as they catch their breath, and Tissaia can't help but smile. 

Yennefer looks radiant in the grey afternoon light, her hair loose in the ocean breeze. Even with a fine sheen of sweat on her skin she's the most beautiful thing Tissaia has ever seen, and the mage sighs to herself. Perhaps it's time to admit that the feelings she's been so diligently trying to ignore aren't going anywhere. Hearing Yennefer more or less admit that she's already been thinking about how they can remain connected even after she's back to her mermaid form has loosened something in Tissaia's chest, and for the first time, she lets herself dream of what might be possible between them.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The slow progression continues...but Tissaia is coming around! Will they kiss before we hit 20k words?? Only time will tell :p
> 
> Thank you as always to everyone reading and commenting! <3


	6. Chapter 6

In the final days before the full moon, Tissaia finds herself growing more and more anxious about Yennefer's impending departure. It's not just the fact that she's grown used to having the younger woman around and has fallen head over heels for her. That's plenty on its own, but she can't help but also remember the state Yennefer was in when she washed up on the beach. 

The thought of the mermaid being injured like that again makes her stomach churn, especially when she considers that she might not always be there to heal her. The fact that she was able to heal Yennefer in the first place is more luck and happenstance than skill, and she can't stand thinking of the mermaid injured and alone somewhere, dying a slow and painful death. She knows there are things that still remain unspoken between them—the memory of Yennefer whispering that Tissaia should just let her die is seared into the mage's brain—but she thinks that she may need to surface at least this one thing before she can let Yennefer go.

She waits until a quiet moment. They're on another of their walks, this time along the cliffs overlooking the ocean. Cafall is well enough now to join them, and he trots ahead, sniffing at the seagrass here and there. Yennefer is walking alongside of her, close enough that their arms occasionally brush as they swing at their sides. It's been a quieter walk, both of them contemplative as they stare out over the ocean. Tissaia can't help but shiver at how dark and cold the water looks. Even knowing what Yennefer looks like in her mermaid form, she still can't help but worry.

It's less clear to her what has Yennefer in such a gloomy mood. The younger woman has been more reticent than usual following their last beach day when she proposed that they still maintain contact even after the transformation is complete. Tissaia would have thought that things between them would be lighter after settling that, but there have been more and more lulls in their conversations where Yennefer simply looks at her. It reminds Tissaia of the look she's seen wives give their husbands at the start of a war, like the mermaid is trying to memorize every feature of her face just in case she never gets to see it again. She wonders if Yennefer has the same fears about what might await her in the ocean, or if it's something else entirely that's been souring her mood.

They reach a large flat stone and Tissaia sits down, arranging her skirts to fall in neat waves around her legs. She pats the spot next to her and Yennefer joins her, albeit a little reluctantly. For a few moments, Tissaia just breathes the salty air and feels the chilled breeze on her face. Yennefer is seated close enough that she can feel the mermaid's warmth, and she shifts so that the length of their arms is pressed together.

She can't think of an easy way to begin the conversation that they need to have. Pushing Yennefer away with prying questions is the absolute last thing that she wants to do, but the ache in her chest at the memory of how close to death the mermaid had come forces her mouth open.

"Will you be safe, when you return to the ocean?"

The words come out clumsily, and she wonders if what she's trying to ask will even make sense to the mermaid. But then Yennefer twists to look at her, and the younger woman's eyes are stormy. "You mean will I end up half-dead again?" When Tissaia nods slowly, not backing off, Yennefer sighs. "No. That was a rather specific circumstance that I don't intend to repeat again." 

Tissaia levels her with a look. "And what, pray tell, is the kind of circumstance that can leave a mermaid—a mermaid with  _ magic _ , at that—bleeding and near death on the beach?" 

There's a lengthy pause where Yennefer doesn't look over at her, just stares out over the water. She looks...sad, Tissaia decides, and maybe a little bit nervous. But the mage holds her tongue. She is genuinely concerned for what might happen to Yennefer when the mermaid returns to the water, and she thinks she's earned enough trust and goodwill to be able to push just this once.

Eventually Yennefer sighs and glances over at her. "We're a very hierarchical species. Mermaids, I mean. Lineage trumps all, and doing anything to dilute the bloodlines is not looked upon kindly." Tissaia nods to show she's listening, her brain taking in the new information and trying to fit it into what she already knows of the younger woman. 

"Most often children born out of wedlock are killed at birth. But even when a child survives, they are treated as lesser beings." Yennefer pauses and seems to search for the right words before giving up and bluntly saying, "I was such a child."

"And your injuries, they were related to your lineage?" Tissaia asks, trying to understand. Yennefer barks out a laugh and shakes her head.

"No. Well, maybe indirectly, but not in the way that you're thinking of. I made it through my younger years, unpleasant though they were, but I was never accepted. It sounds terribly naive in hindsight, but I thought that perhaps if I somehow proved my worth, that the rest of the clan might accept me as a full member."

Tissaia shifts just a bit closer, so that their legs are pressed against each other. "What did you try to do?"

"There is an ancient mermaid artifact that was stolen by humans long ago," Yennefer says with a sigh. "Mages often use it for advanced spells that require ancient magics to increase the odds of success, and I caught wind of a rumor that the artifact was to be moved by sea from one kingdom to another."

That's news to Tissaia. She's familiar with the item that Yennefer speaks of—has seen it a mere handful of times in her very long life, but remembers the green-black scales that covered the knife handle, the wickedly curved blade glinting with abalone shell inlay. She didn't know that it was being moved, nor that there was any spell planned in any of the kingdoms that would require that type of assistance. 

Setting her questions aside for the moment, Tissaia returns her attention to Yennefer. There will be time later to sort out the details of what else is happening on the Continent, but for now she needs to see this conversation through to its end. 

"If I recovered the artifact, I thought that perhaps I might be granted a better position in the clan," Yennefer says. "It seemed like a simple plan, in theory. All I would need to do was track the ship that the artifact was on and find a way to steal it without anyone noticing."

The brief flashes of memory that the mermaid had projected during her nightmare bubble up in Tissaia's mind, and she realizes that the younger woman had been dreaming about these events. "What happened?" she asks quietly, dreading the answer but needing to know all the same.

"They had protection mages. Three of them. They hit me with stunning spells and then attacked, and I wasn't able to get free in time."

Tissaia bites her lip as she remembers the deep wounds the mermaid had suffered. The knowledge that they had been inflicted by other mages—by people she might even know—somehow made it all just a bit worse. Without thinking, she reaches over and squeezes Yennefer's thigh, as much to reassure herself as the younger woman that she is alive and here and healed.

"I won't be attempting anything so foolish again," Yennefer says wryly. "So there's really no need to worry about me."

"But your clan—they still won't accept you?" Tissaia asks. Yennefer looks away and picks at a piece of loose thread on her dress.

"No. But it's nothing new, and I'm too powerful for any of them to be able to do any real damage. Honestly, I usually stay far enough away from the clan that they only see me a few times a year. The blessing and curse of never quite belonging anywhere or having a place to call home."

The mermaid's statement doesn't ease the worry in the pit of Tissaia's stomach. Even if Yennefer is right and there's no physical danger, the thought of the younger woman alone and shunned by the other mermaids makes her feel like crying. 

In their short time together she's seen just how sweet and intelligent and funny Yennefer is, and the knowledge that she's likely going back to a life of loneliness weighs heavily. What does the mermaid do during the rest of the year, if she's seeing the clan so sporadically? Tissaia isn't an expert in the life of underwater creatures, but she knows enough to know that there are limited options for socializing if Yennefer is so isolated from her clan. The few others that are out there—selkies, sirens, and the like—tend to stick to their own from what she knows, and even if they didn't she imagines it would be a pale imitation of the type of connection that she can feel Yennefer longs for.

She's not sure how best to communicate what she's thinking, but she can't bear to let the sad expression that's drifted over the mermaid's face linger. Tissaia reaches over and uses one hand to cup Yennefer's cheek and encourage her to turn so that she's looking at the mage.

"You always have a place with me." She means the words with every piece of her being, and she prays that Yennefer can tell that these are not idle platitudes. Violet eyes swirl with a mix of emotion as Yennefer examines her closely, and Tissaia has the distinct impression that the mermaid is hunting for any sign of insincerity. When she finds none, she relaxes a little and a small smile hints at the corners of her mouth.

"You'd better be careful saying such sweet things, Tissaia, or you might never get rid of me," she murmurs. She shifts on the rock until she can rest her head on Tissaia's shoulder, curling into the mage's side. "I don't know what I did to deserve you coming into my life."

Tissaia inhales the heady lilac scent of the oil Yennefer must have used to wash her hair and shakes her head. "I could say the same about you." The mermaid sits up and looks at her questioningly. 

"What do you mean? Surely you're not so desperate for entertainment that a half-dead mermaid is cause for excitement?"

Tissaia scoffs at the teasing but hesitates before responding to the first question, trying to find the words that will express what she's feeling without leaving her too vulnerable. "I don't typically allow many people close to me," is what she finally says. "It's been a long time since I had anyone carve out a space in my life so effortlessly, and it's been...nice."

Yennefer's eyes are soft, but she smirks when she asks, "Just nice? That's it?"

"A test of my patience might be a more apt descriptor," Tissaia mutters, shaking her head as Yennefer chuckles and returns to her prior position snuggled into the mage. 

The minutes pass slowly, and Tissaia tries to memorize the feeling of having Yennefer next to her like this. With every day that brings them closer to the mermaid's departure, she becomes more and more acutely aware of how desperately she's going to miss these interactions. Picturing her days without Yennefer's teasing wit and quiet company in them leaves her feeling hollow and lonesome in a way she hasn't felt for many decades. It seems vital that she commit every single second they spend together to memory so that she will have something to keep her going once they part. Even if they are able to stay in contact, she's not so foolish as to believe that it will be the same. Weekly visits are far superior to nothing, but they're also a far cry from what they have now.

And besides, there certainly won't be any physical cuddling once Yennefer is back to being covered in deadly spines.

They stay on the rock watching the ocean as the sun dips lower in the sky, turning the horizon into a fiery blaze of color. The air cools down as the world slowly darkens to dusk, and Tissaia sighs. "We should probably head back. I don't fancy falling off a cliff in the dark."

"You know," Yennefer says as she reluctantly shifts and lets Tissaia rise, "You  _ are _ a mage. You could just cast a spell or charm to light the path home."

"I could," Tissaia allows. "Or we could walk there now before it's necessary."

"You're no fun," Yennefer grumbles, but she allows Tissaia to tug her to her feet. Once they're standing, she keeps Tissaia's hand held tightly in her own, and if it's a bit awkward to navigate the rocky path all the way home while holding hands, Tissaia certainly isn't complaining.

###

After they eat a late dinner, they leave Cafall lying on the rug in the kitchen and go to Yennefer's bedroom to continue visiting. Yennefer sits on the bed, her legs tucked up under her as she leans back against the pillows, while Tissaia sits in the chair nearby. A few candles provide warm light, and Tissaia can't help but notice how the shadows across the younger woman's face in the flickering light make her look even more ethereally beautiful. 

Their conversation spans topics ranging from the politics that Tissaia has been navigating in Kovir of late (she'd received a missive from the king that her presence would be required in the court in the next month, which is unusual), and Yennefer occasionally interrupts with recommendations of where she thinks the various politicians can shove their inane ideas and massive egos. 

"Honestly, Tissaia, I don't know how you manage it without murdering them," she huffs. "I think I would last all of three weeks at court before I lost my temper and slipped silencing potions into everyone's drinks."

Tissaia snorts at the image of the panic that would surely take over the nobles if they were suddenly unable to speak. The thought may or may not have crossed her mind before, but while she's reined in her impulses she has no difficulty picturing Yennefer making them into reality.

"I've found that cursing the royals is generally frowned upon," she says dryly. "At least if I want to avoid any witch hunters."

By the time the candles begin to burn down to the last of their wicks, Tissaia's eyes are heavy and she feels as if she could curl up in the chair and sleep right there. She's loathe to retreat to her own room, though, knowing that these are the last few nights she'll have with Yennefer. 

A particularly large yawn overtakes her and she sighs in resignation. "I suppose I should go to bed. Don't want to risk sleep deprivation making me mispronounce something in the transformation spell. I doubt you would appreciate being turned into a goldfish instead of a mermaid."

The attempt at levity doesn't get a laugh, and Tissaia glances over and sees Yennefer watching her with a conflicted expression. She's about to ask what's wrong when Yennefer seems to make up her mind and meets Tissaia's eyes.

"Stay."

"I'm sorry?" Tissaia asks, her throat suddenly very dry. Yennefer pats the space on the bed next to her as if that clarifies things at all.

"Stay. The bed is plenty big enough for two."

That seems like a very poor reason for the mermaid to be inviting her to share a bed for the night, and Tissaia is sure that her confusion is written across her face as she tries to make sense of this unexpected turn. She's not quite sure what the younger woman is asking her, and she sees a flash of realization cross the mermaid's face as she registers what she's said.

"Just for sleeping," she says. "Cross my heart, I'll keep my hands to myself unless you explicitly ask me to put them elsewhere." The grin she gives Tissaia is positively devious, and the mage flushes as her brain floods with images of all of the place she might like Yennefer to put those hands. 

Coughing to cover her discomfort, Tissaia hesitates. The idea of being able to have just a little bit of extra time with Yennefer is tempting, even if she'll be asleep for most of it. But the risks...if she has a nightmare, or if her inhibitions are lowered in sleep...

"My room is only a few steps away, I'll be fine—"

"—I don't want you to go." 

Yennefer's words cut off whatever else Tissaia was going to say. 

"I just...I'm going to be alone for so much of the time once the transformation is complete. I feel happy, and safe, when I'm around you, and I just..." she trails off, looking frustrated with her struggle to explain what she's feeling. "I want to soak up as much of that as I can in the time we have left."

She looks suddenly small and uncertain on the bed, and Tissaia's heart breaks at hearing her own conflict reflected back to her with such openness and vulnerability. 

"Okay," she murmurs, nodding. Because what else can she do in the face of Yennefer asking her so trustingly for this? There's no way she can deny something so simple, and especially not when it's exactly what her own heart is yearning for. In the morning she'll blame it on the lack of sleep making her brain fuzzy, but when she sees the slow smile that spread across Yennefer's face as she registers Tissaia's response, she thinks she would make the same choice every time, sleep deprivation or no.

She stands up from the chair and then hesitates, unsure of what to do next. Yennefer reaches out and catches her by the hand, pulling her down onto the bed. The mermaid arranges the covers so that they can both slide underneath them and Tissaia does her best to keep a few inches of space between them. Every muscle in her body is tense, and she wonders if she'll ever get to sleep when she's so terrified of accidentally crossing a line or doing something that might make Yennefer uncomfortable.

"You don't have to lay there like a corpse, you know," comes Yennefer's muffled voice. The mermaid twists so that she can look over her shoulder at Tissaia. "Come here."

Tissaia reluctantly shifts closer until her front is nearly pressed against the mermaid's back, and she lets Yennefer grasp one of her hands and tug until the mage has an arm thrown over her middle.

"Better," Yennefer says sleepily. "Is this okay?"

And there are many, many words that Tissaia could use to describe their current situation. Torturous is one. Maybe tempting, or tantalizing, or surreal—but she can't say any of those out loud, so she just nods, knowing that they're close enough now that the mermaid will be able to feel the motion.

"Good night, Yennefer," she says softly. 

"'Night," the mermaid replies, sleep already creeping into her voice. She snuggles deeper into the covers, pulling them up to her chin in a way that Tissaia finds ridiculously endearing. She closes her eyes and focuses on the steady rise and fall of the younger woman's side as she breathes. 

She can't remember the last time she was this close to someone without there being either a sexual or otherwise ulterior motive. Not that there's not  _ some _ sexual component to her current position. She wants Yennefer in a way she never has before, and having the mermaid literally in her arms in bed while not being able to do anything about it is misery on a whole new level. 

The worst part is that she's quite certain at this point that Yennefer wouldn't be opposed to her acting on the desire swirling through her veins—would probably encourage it, honestly. All that's preventing her from having the mermaid is her own fear of whether she would survive opening her heart up in that way, only to lose Yennefer before the week is out. The part of her that's focused on self-preservation is growing smaller with every passing day, the voice of logic and reason drowned out by her inexplicable attraction to the mermaid, but she can't bring herself to take that one final leap. 

Cursing herself for her inability to just turn her brain off and stop overthinking everything, Tissaia opens her eyes and glances around the room to distract herself. Her gaze traces over the gentle slope of Yennefer's shoulder, the dark fall of her hair across her back. Moonlight filters through the window and Tissaia finds herself thinking that the mermaid's eyes would probably look absolutely stunning in the silvery glow, and her lips—okay, so reflecting on Yennefer's beauty is not exactly helping, and she forces her eyes to look at the bed posts and the coverlet and the grain of the wood in the small bedside table until she feels sufficiently bored enough to manage sleep without thoughts of Yennefer intruding.

She closes her eyes again and says a quick mental prayer that she makes it through the night with no nightmares or other problems. But when she drifts to sleep, she finds her dreams are haunted not by incarnations of the past, but of what it will mean in the coming days when Yennefer returns to the sea.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will they ever kiss?? Only time will tell :p
> 
> Thanks to everyone reading and commenting! Oh, and thanks to the people who had the mini-prompts in the comments of the last chapter lol. Feel free to send more if there's a scene snippet you want to see!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Yanana for making a beautiful moodboard to go along with this fic <3

"I could stay here." 

Tissaia looks up from the potion she's mixing. They gathered the seaweed in the morning and she's just putting the finishing touches on it, and it takes her a second to process what Yennefer has said. As her brain catches up to what the mermaid is proposing, her heart thumps painfully in her chest.

She can't deny that the thought has crossed her mind, in her weaker moments. It feels terribly selfish to even consider the possibility that Yennefer would resign herself to being stuck in a human form in order to stay with Tissaia, so she hasn't allowed herself to dwell on the idea much. But as much as it causes her stomach to twist with happiness that the mermaid is proposing it unprompted, there's something else that has been nagging at the edges of Tissaia's awareness for several days now.

She sets the potion ingredients down and shifts so that she's facing Yennefer. "You could," she says slowly, "but I think you and I both know that there would be consequences to that."

Yennefer looks back at her with an almost sorrowful expression but doesn't deny it, and Tissaia's heart sinks. 

For the past week she's thought that she could sense less and less of the mermaid's chaos. It was still there, the unique signature and energy that constantly emanated from the younger woman providing a sense of steady reassurance that all was well even when they were apart, but it had grown fainter. Over the past few days it's been even more pronounced. Where once she could easily have felt Yennefer's chaos from miles away, now she can't find the threads unless she focuses and searches for them amongst the general milieu. She'd hoped it was all in her head, but the mermaid's lack of argument dashes that theory.

"Your magic is weakening," she says. It's a statement, not a question, and Yennefer reluctantly nods. Tissaia pinches the bridge of her nose. "How long?"

"It started just after you rescued me." She bites her lip and glances away. "It's gotten worse the last few days, though. I think the longer I'm human form the weaker my connection with the ocean gets. I can still feel the chaos there, it's just like I can't access it, like something is cutting me off from it."

Tissaia lets out a slow breath. That's more or less what she had thought might be happening, but the length of time—that presents an even greater concern. If it's truly been getting worse for nearly the entire month that Yennefer has been with her, then the pace of it must have accelerated dramatically for her to have noticed such a marked difference in less than a week. It doesn't bode well for what would happen if there are any further delays in returning the mermaid to her original form. 

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"At first I didn't think it mattered," Yenenfer replies. "After all, you were already going to do the transformation as soon as possible. There was no point in mentioning it since there was nothing else to be done about it."

"And later?" Tissaia presses. 

Yennefer sighs, but she meets Tissaia's questioning gaze. "I knew it would worry you. And—" she hesitates. "I thought you might try to turn me back faster."

The warm glow at the admission that the younger woman withheld the information out of a desire to not be parted from her sooner wars against frustration and worry in Tissaia's chest. "You're right," she mutters, "I most certainly would have. And with good reason! We do not know what the effects might be if you lost your magic completely!"

"I know." Yennefer's voice is as defeated as Tissaia has ever heard it, and she softens at the conflict that the younger woman has clearly been going through.

"Then why would you even raise the possibility of you staying?" Tissaia asks, trying to understand. With her hunch about the mermaid's magic confirmed, it seems more imperative than ever that they go through with the transformation as quickly as possible.

Yennefer shrugs and her eyes drop, refusing to meet Tissaia's. "It might be worth it. To stay with you."

Tissaia is rendered speechless. She gapes at the mermaid and tries to formulate a response, finally bursting out with, "Potentially risking your life for a passing fancy is most certainly not worth it!"

Yennefer's head snaps up and she levels Tissaia with a glare. "A passing fancy? Is that how you think of me? Because I can assure you, Tissaia, that whatever is between us is far more than a casual interest on my part."

_ Whatever is between us _ . It's the closest they've come to acknowledging everything they've been dancing around—everything  _ she _ has been dancing around— and Tissaia's throat closes with emotion. She's forced herself to believe that all of Yennefer's actions are merely because of a physical interest, or a general curiosity. To hear the mermaid say so explicitly that that's not the case...it leaves her feeling unmoored, adrift in waters she is not sure how to navigate.

"Passing fancy or not, it can never be," Tissaia says quietly. "I cannot bear the thought of you coming to harm because of me."

She sees the mermaid visibly deflate, the defeat clear in her posture. Everything in her calls to go and wrap the younger woman in her arms, to soothe away the hurt and promise whatever it takes to ease her sadness, but she forces herself to stay where she is. This is one thing she cannot compromise on, no matter how much she might wish to.

"The potion will be ready tomorrow." When she doesn't get a response, Tissaia sighs. "I think it's best if we don't wait any longer and risk additional damage to your magic."

Yennefer nods once, but there's a frown etched on her features. After a second, she turns and leaves the cottage. Tissaia takes a deep breath in through her nose to try to regain control over her emotions and returns to grinding the ingredients for the potion. Her heart aches, but she reminds herself that this is for the best. A broken heart is worth it if it means that Yennefer will be safe...or at least saf _ er _ .

###

The next morning dawns bright and clear. Tissaia wakes in bed to a warm body pressed close against her own, an arm pinning her to the bed and a tangle of lilac-scented hair in her face. Yennefer hadn't come back to the cottage until late that night, and she'd slid into Tissaia's bed without a word. She'd seemed clingier than usual, burying her face into the crook of Tissaia's neck and curling against the mage's body, but the smaller woman hadn't protested. Truth be told she had been glad for the closeness. Feeling Yennefer against her had helped ward off the looming fear of what the sunrise would bring.

Tissaia lays there quietly for a few moments, just savoring the closeness and trying to push down the grief rising in the back of her throat. 

"It's too early for you to be thinking so hard," comes a muffled grumble against her collarbone. Tissaia fights down a shiver at the warm breath cascading over her skin and shifts, preparing to get up.

"Not yet," Yennefer says, moving so that she's more fully on top of Tissaia. "Just a few more minutes."

"Okay," Tissaia murmurs, settling back against the pillows. Indulging what is apparently a mutual desire for cuddling doesn't seem like such a bad idea when this is likely to be the last opportunity. They haven't spoken at all regarding what the mermaid said the day before about what is between them, and Tissaia can't seem to muster the courage to raise the subject. She wonders if Yennefer feels the same turmoil or if the mermaid is oblivious to the raging storm of emotions kept carefully locked inside Tissaia's chest. 

She's drawn from her thoughts by a soft fingertip moving across her skin as Yennefer relaxes against her and sighs. The mermaid traces idle shapes and patterns against Tissaia's shoulder, and the repetition soothes the mage until she's nearly asleep again. 

She doesn't know exactly how long they spend like that, but when Yennefer finally moves away she thinks to herself that it could never be long enough. They pad into the kitchen but neither speak as Tissaia puts the kettle on. The weight of their impending separation hangs over them both, and Tissaia presses her lips together to keep from saying something she might regret.

The morning passes in a blur despite Tissaia's best efforts to hang onto every single second and stretch it out for as long as possible, and all too soon she finds herself dressing to go out to the cove they've selected as the location for the transformation. She pulls on a heavy cloak and kneels to lace her boots, laughing when Cafall comes over and snuffles in her face.

"You have to stay here today," she murmurs. "I'll see you later tonight." He whines a little but doesn't protest as she pats him on the head and stands.

Yennefer meets her at the door, eyes sober, and they begin the walk to the beach. The flask tucked at Tissaia's hip shifts with each step that she takes, and the weight of it is a constant reminder of what they've set out to do. 

There is no conversation as they make their way down the narrow path at the cliffs, and Tissaia keeps stealing glances over at the mermaid. She thinks that maybe this is what things will be like between them, now. The easiness will dissipate along with their physical proximity, and they'll spend their days in silence between awkward visits. 

They've worked out the basic details of how their visits will go—the same cove that they're heading to now is the agreed-upon meeting location, since it will allow them to visit while relatively hidden from view. The danger of someone seeing Yennefer in mermaid form willingly hanging around a mage is very much present at the back of Tissaia's mind, and she's planning to install a few cloaking charms for good measure. It wouldn't bode well for either of them if their friendship is discovered, and while their communication will be solely through telepathy, a villager might still stumble across them if they aren't careful.

Yennefer offers Tissaia her hand to help her down the last drop onto the beach and Tissaia takes it, smiling when the mermaid keeps hold even once they're both on stable footing. She considers making a weak joke about Yennefer just looking for an excuse to hold her hand, but she can't muster the words when she's still feeling so raw about their imminent separation. She doesn't think the younger woman would pull away just to make a point, but even the slightest chance is too much when this is the last time Tissaia will get to have those warm, slender fingers twined between her own.

They make it to the cove in good time, a rocky outcropping from the cliffs sheltering them and providing some cover. Tissaia isn't sure how to proceed now—is it best to just do the transformation and get it over with? Will it be better to rip it off like an old bandage so that the pain comes all at once, or can they get away with a slower goodbye? 

Yennefer ends up making the decision for her, sitting down on a rock with a heavy sigh.

"What's wrong?" Tissaia asks, sensing the waves of melancholy rolling off of the younger woman. "I would have thought you'd be a bit more excited to get back to your old form and not be bound in a human body."

"Well, that part will certainly be nice," the mermaid says with a smirk. But then she sighs and looks away, gazing out over the water lapping along the shoreline. "Are you going to miss me, when I’m gone?"

Tissaia feels the words as keenly as a lance through the heart. She wordlessly sits down beside Yennefer and leans against her shoulder.

"Yes," she says quietly, "Perhaps more than any I’ve known before you."

The mermaid looks over at her curiously and Tissaia shifts uneasily. They've made it this far—through long walks on the beach and helping each other through nightmares and long nights spent curled against each other without admitting a single explicit feeling beyond a general sense of care. Even when Yennefer pushed the day before, they had not named anything. Having this conversation now, making things real on the brink of Yennefer's departure, feels more cruel than cathartic.

"I do not let people in easily," she says quietly. "We've discussed that. Do you really think that I'll recover quickly from your absence? Even with regular meetings, I will feel the shape of where you used to be in my life every time I set foot in my cottage or walk along the cliffs."

Yennefer bites her lip and looks away again, and Tissaia wonders what the mermaid is thinking. Everything that has been spoken so far could be said in the context of friendship, and if there is to be anything more than that then the mermaid will have to be the one to initiate it.

But all the younger woman says is, "You're the closest thing to family I think I've ever had. After a month. How pathetic is that?"

A single tear rolls down the mermaid's cheek and Tissaia wraps an arm around her, pulling her in closer. "Not at all, sweet girl. Were it up to me you would have the love and care and relationships that you so dearly deserve, but that is not within the power of even the greatest of mages." She can feel the mermaid's response even before she says it aloud, and she shakes her head. "But you cannot stay here with me, Yennefer. It would be the end of you, to be cut off from your magic like this for the rest of your life. I've seen the way it wears on you even after such a relatively short time. Much as it pains me to admit, staying in this human form would be the death of you."

"I know." Yennefer's voice is small and dejected. She rests her head against Tissaia's chest, the mage's heartbeat thumping against her cheek. Tissaia takes in a slow, steadying breath when she feels the younger woman shift against her. Strands of hair whisper across the exposed skin of her neck, followed closely by the soft press of lips. The sensation is nearly enough to drive Tissaia out of her mind and she gently pushes at Yennefer's shoulder.

"Yennefer, what are you—ah!"

A firmer kiss and the scrape of teeth over her pulse point has her shuddering into silence as Yennefer presses against her more firmly.

"Let us have this, Tissaia. I know you feel it too. Let me have you this once before we have to part."

Tissaia's brain feels hazy and half-awake as she tries to form words. Yennefer's words, paired with the feeling of the younger woman practically crawling into her lap and kissing up her neck, is making it nigh impossible to think. Those wonderful lips move from her neck to her cheek, and they're very nearly to her lips before Tissaia manages to coordinate her limbs and jolt back and away from the mermaid. She looks up and sees Yennefer watching her with a hurt expression, and she feels the beginnings of tears rise in her own eyes in response.

"Why won't you give in?" Yennefer asks plaintively. "I know you want this too, I've known it since the first morning I saw you. You can't tell me I'm wrong about that."

And Tissaia can't. Everything feels raw and exposed, like her heart is being scraped out of her chest and battered to pieces against the rocky shore. But she knows that this desperate, last-ditch grasping at some sort of connection will not soothe the ache. If anything, it will only make the parting harder.

She goes to Yennefer and kneels in front of her, taking the younger woman's hands in her own. "I cannot tell you that you're wrong, Yennefer. But I cannot do this. I can't know what it is to have you, only to have it ripped away moments later. I do not think my heart could bear it."

Gradual awareness and understanding dawns in Yennefer's eyes and she blinks back tears, her violet eyes gone glassy. She squeezes Tissaia's hands tightly in her lap and lowers her forehead down until it's pressed against the mage's. Tissaia closes her eyes and tries to focus on the steady rhythm of the mermaid's breath, the warmth of their skin. When she opens her eyes again she sees Yennefer watching her once more.

"Please, Tissaia," the mermaid whispers. "I won't ask it of you if you truly don't wish to, but at least grant me a single kiss so that I might know what it's like just this once."

Tissaia wants to protest, knows that it's a terrible idea that will only bring them more pain, but she can't fight against her own heart any longer. She nods and takes a shaky breath in. Yennefer's hands come up to cradle her face, smoothing the skin of her cheeks and bringing their faces even closer together. 

At the first tentative brush of full lips against her own, Tissaia's eyes fall closed once more and she thinks that this knowledge will be her undoing. For never, in all her centuries of life, has she known a kiss like this one. Even though there's barely any contact, she feels a surge of energy between them and realizes that it's her chaos calling to Yennefer's, encouraging it to rise and crackle around them in the air. She feels like she's not in control of her own body as she stretches up to push more firmly into the kiss, a choked sound catching in the back of her throat when she feels the barest flicker of tongue against the seam of her lips. 

Her fingers come up to tangle in Yennefer's hair and pull the mermaid closer as she opens her mouth. The hot slide of their tongues leaves her feeling as if she's drowning for air and learning how to breathe all at the same time. She'd never imagined that a single kiss could elicit such a complex tangle of feeling in her, but she cannot deny that every nerve ending is positively alight. A hot, pulsing need settles low in her belly and just when she thinks she might die for lack of air, Yennefer breaks the kiss with a gasp. Tissaia pants for breath and meets violet eyes that have gone several shades darker. 

"Are you satisfied?" she manages to get out, not sure what answer she's hoping for. 

But Yennefer doesn't even pause, just steps farther into Tissaia's space and brushes a chaste kiss across her lips. "I could have a thousand lifetimes with you and still not be satisfied."

The words yank a mewl from Tissaia and she lets her head fall forward so that it's pressed against Yennefer's chest. It's not fair, she thinks, that who they are forces them to remain apart. How is it possible that they can feel so deeply for one another after such a short time and in spite of being from entirely different species?

"I can come back," Yennefer murmurs against the top of her head. "You can turn me back once I've been in my mermaid form long enough for my magic to recover. We can have this, Tissaia, if only you let us."

The mermaid seems so certain that this plan will work that it's hard for Tissaia to argue against it. She  _ wants _ Yennefer to be right, because then it means that she might finally have some small measure of joy in her life. 

"It's dangerous," she murmurs halfheartedly. "Doing a transformation like this more than once, there are so many ways it could go wrong—"

"I trust you." Yennefer places a single finger under Tissaia's chin and lifts until the mage is looking in her eyes. "The risk is worth it, if it means I can be with you."

Tissaia bites her lip and reins in the urge to argue the point further. There are so many ways for this to go terribly, irreversibly wrong, but at this moment in time all she can think about is how much she wants to kiss Yennefer again.

The mermaid seems to have the same thought, because she dips her head and presses her lips to Tissaia's once more. This kiss is softer, sweeter and full of promise. It's still toe-curling and leaves Tissaia feeling as if she's floating, and she feels the hunger seeping back as the seconds tick by. She finally jerks away, gasping for breath and placing a hand on Yennefer's chest when the mermaid whines and tries to pull her back.

"If you don't go now, I'm not going to be able to let you," she says. It seems to take Yennefer a few seconds to process the statement, but then her shoulders sag and she takes a step back, putting a hands-width of space between them.

"Then let's get this over with."

She leads Tissaia over to the edge of the shore, where water is gently lapping against the rocks. There are no crashing waves in this section of the cove, which is part of why they thought it would be the best choice for the transformation. There's no way of knowing whether Yennefer will be weakened once she's back in her mermaid form, and immediately pitting her against powerful ocean currents seemed an unnecessary danger.

Yennefer kneels in the water and Tissaia joins her, handing the potion over and watching to make sure that the younger woman drinks every drop of it. When the flask is empty, she takes Yennefer's hands and shifts so that she's in front of the mermaid. 

"I'm not sure if this will be painful," she says softly. "But once I begin, I cannot stop until the incantation is complete."

"I know." Yennefer gives her hands a reassuring squeeze. "I'll be okay."

Tissaia nods once and opens her mouth to start the spell, but Yennefer suddenly speaks.

"Wait!"

"What—" Tissaia's words dissolve in a muffled  _ mmph _ as Yennefer surges forward and kisses her. The mermaid pulls back after a second and settles back on her heels.

"Okay. Now you can start."

Tissaia stares at her blankly for a moment before she's able to convince her brain to work again. She begins the spell that will reverse the transformation, keeping every ounce of her focus on Yennefer's face to watch for signs of anything going wrong. The seconds tick by as Tissaia weaves a complex net of magic that settles over the mermaid's body like a second skin, glowing bright enough that it becomes painful to look at her directly. Still, Tissaia keeps her gaze unwavering as she finishes the incantation, and she sags a little as the transformation takes, pulling a surge of chaos from her.

She blinks away the spots that are blurring her vision and a wave of relief crashes over her when she sees Yennefer back in her mermaid form, lying in the shallow water.

**_Yennefer?_ ** She reaches out tentatively with her mind, unsure of the best way to communicate with her now. The rise and fall of the mermaid's chest is visible even at a small distance (and she makes a mental note to interrogate Yennefer on how mermaids breathe since not being fully submerged doesn't appear to be causing any problems), so Tissaia knows that at least she's alive. She debates moving closer, but decides to keep her distance when her eyes fall on the lethal spikes along Yennefer's spine. She trusts that the mermaid would never intentionally hurt her, but if Yennefer wakes up and panics or flails about, all it would take is one blow connecting and she would be in bad shape.

**_Yennefer?_ ** She tries again, and this time she feels an answering prickle of awareness.

**_Tissaia?_ ** Yennefer moves jerkily, pushing herself into a sitting position. She looks around and relaxes slightly when she sees Tissaia.  **_How long was I out?_ **

**_A few minutes._ ** Tissaia moves closer to do a quick visual scan and ensure that there are no issues with the transformation.  **_How do you feel?_ **

Yennefer shifts, flipping her tail and moving towards the deeper water.  **_Like I got run over by a ship. But everything is in working order, as far as I can tell._ **

Tissaia exhales in relief. Part of her had been terrified that she would somehow manage to botch the transformation.

**_And your magic?_ **

It's odd, to watch Yennefer's face in this different form. The violet eyes are every bit as expressive, but the frills and spikes don't lend her features quite the same level of emotion.

**_It's there_ ** Yennefer says after a moment.  **_Obviously, since I can still talk to you. But it's weak. I think it will take some time to return fully._ **

Disappointment swells in Tissaia's chest and she pushes it down. She knew this was the likely outcome, and it's good news that it seems as if being back in her mermaid form is helping, but she can't fully erase the sting of knowing that it truly will be some time before she's able to see Yennefer in human form again.

"I suppose you should probably go," Tissaia says out loud. "Rest and get your strength back." 

**_Trying to get rid of me already?_ **

"You know that's not the case," Tissaia huffs. "But I don't have the chaos to maintain the shielding charms for much longer after the transformation spell, and I don't want anyone to see you."

It would be the ultimate irony if a random villager happened upon them and injured or attacked Yennefer when Tissaia is too weak to protect or heal her. She has no desire to tempt fate, and she sees the resignation on Yennefer's face.

"Come back here in three day's time," she says. "I'll have enough chaos stored by then to hold the charms for as long as you like."

**_I'm holding you to that._ ** Yennefer waits until Tissaia nods before turning towards the open ocean. She begins to swim out of the cove but then stops, her tail gently beating beneath the water to keep her above the waves.  **_Will you be able to get home safely? Without your chaos, I mean._ **

**_I'll be fine_ ** Tissaia says. She doesn't mention that she'll probably fall into bed and sleep for a day, figuring there's no point in worrying Yennefer. So long as she's recovered by the next time she sees the mermaid, it shouldn't matter either way.  **_Now go. Be safe._ **

**_You too._ ** Yennefer casts a final look over her shoulder at Tissaia before diving beneath the surface, her tail fin clearing the waves before she disappears entirely. Tissaia waits until she can barely feel the echo of the mermaid's chaos and then begins the long walk back to her cottage. Her boots are soaked through, and the hem of her dress feels like it's weighted down by stones from the amount of water it's taken on. It takes her what feels like hours to make it to her doorstep, and Cafall greets her with a damp nose nudging at her hand as she stumbles inside. She barely has the energy to set out a dish of food for him, drink a glass of water, and strip her clothes off before collapsing into her bed.

Her eyes shut almost immediately, but it takes longer than she thought it would for sleep to come. All she can think about is Yennefer somewhere out in the ocean, alone and weakened. Worry gnaws at her belly as she turns over all of the many ways in which the mermaid could be injured, and she squeezes her eyes tightly in a poor attempt to banish the images from her mind.

She finally digs deep within herself, calling up the last bits of chaos in her reserves. It's foolish to expend herself so completely, and normally she would never even consider it, but she doesn't think she'll be able to sleep unless she knows that Yennefer is okay. 

She stretches out her mind, sweeping across the surface of the ocean and feeling for the edges of Yennefer's consciousness. The faint beacon of the mermaid's chaos signature grows steadily stronger until she's able to locate her, many miles from shore. As best she can tell the mermaid is tucked in a rocky underwater nook, her belly full of freshly hunted sea creatures. The anxiety relents at the tangible evidence that the mermaid is alive and well, and she starts to pull back.

**_Tissaia? Is that you? Is everything okay?_ **

Yennefer's voice sounds sleepy and confused, and it's ridiculously endearing. Tissaia sends a quick rush of soothing energy towards the mermaid.

**_Everything is fine. I just wanted to make sure you were okay._ **

**_Oh._ ** Yennefer does something that Tissaia assumes is the mermaid equivalent of a yawn and settles more comfortably into her rocky bed.  **_You made it home safely?_ **

**_I did._ ** Tissaia can already feel sleep pulling at her, the worry subsiding and leaving her exhausted.  **_I'm about to sleep now._ **

**_Good._ ** Yennefer's voice sounds like she's drifting off again herself.  **_Goodnight, Tissaia._ **

**_Goodnight, Yennefer._ ** Tissaia severs the mental connection and her awareness falls back into her own body. The bed feels over-large and too empty around her, but the knowledge that Yennefer is safe makes it bearable. She nestles into the covers and is asleep within seconds, her dreams tinted with memories of the mermaid's lips against her own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 20k words for a kiss—not bad! Hopefully it was worth the wait lol. Thanks to everyone still reading, commenting, and leaving kudos! <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally a little chapter from Yen's perspective :)

Gorgeous moodboard by Yanana <3

Yen does a little twirl underwater and huffs. Tissaia is running late for their meeting, and she's getting impatient. 

She's been back in her natural form for three weeks now, and the separation from the mage has been harder than she could have imagined. She knew it wasn't going to be pleasant—had been trying desperately to think of ways to convince Tissaia to let her stay a human indefinitely—but the reality of how lonely her life is in the ocean has still been a shock. She'd gotten so used to the quiet, comfortable companionship with Tissaia that suddenly being alone for the vast majority of her days and nights is far harder than she remembered.

And if that wasn't enough, the kiss that they'd shared before the transformation…

Yennefer had initially written off the swirl of desire in her gut at the sight of Tissaia as some sort of weird response to the mage saving her life. As the days had progressed and the feeling had strengthened and deepened into more than just physical attraction, she'd been forced to reckon with the possibility that she was genuinely, unfathomably interested in Tissaia. 

She's never felt more than a twinge of attraction to other mermaids (though that may be partially owing to the fact that they're usually trying to kill her when she sees them), so to suddenly be confronted with a veritable tsunami of emotion every time the mage so much as spoke to her was disorienting, to say the least. And Tissaia certainly hadn't made it easy to determine if the sentiment was mutual. Yennefer had used every trick she could think of to try to get some sort of clarity on whether the mage's feelings towards her extended beyond a mere charity case. Snuggling on the woman's lap, holding her hand—she'd thought that there was more, little flashes visible in piercing blue eyes before they were hidden away again, but she couldn't be sure. 

And then that night in the kitchen when Cafall had tripped Tissaia (she had absolutely snuck him some extra food the following day for that), she'd thought for sure that they might kiss. She'd  _ seen _ the look on Tissaia's face, the way the mage had dug her teeth into her lower lip hard enough to leave little indents as they'd swayed closer together. And she wasn't going to lie—the feeling of being pinned between Tissaia and the wall had  _ absolutely _ been doing it for her. She was about two seconds away from kissing Tissaia herself when the mage had run off like a startled cat. 

She’s never kissed someone before—it’s not a gesture that mermaids use to show affection, giving their sharp teeth. But she’s been alive long enough to have seen how humans interact with each other, and while she’d never seen the appeal of pressing her mouth to another’s, Tissaia changed all that. She’d spent whole days dreaming of what it might be like to kiss the mage, to explore Tissaia’s body with her lips and tongue. Her nights were haunted by imagining what Tissaia would taste like, whether the smaller woman would be quiet or vocal in her pleasure. 

She'd worried that her newfound obsession had caused her to push a little too far when she invited Tissaia to stay and share her bed. The expression on the mage's face had been somewhere between searing desire and total panic, and if Yennefer had learned anything it was that a panicked Tissaia usually meant a Tissaia who started throwing all manner of artificial barriers between them. 

But to her endless surprise (and intrigue), Tissaia had stayed. 

It had been both the best and worst thing to ever happen, because Yennefer had had to spend the whole night pretending that she wasn't awake and painfully aware of the fact that the woman she was desperately attracted to was mere centimeters away. Every time Tissaia had shifted in her sleep, Yen's whole body had lit up with the desire to reach out and pull the mage to her, to press her lips against the smaller woman's and finally satisfy the burning need to know what it felt like to kiss her. 

But she'd resisted, if only because she knew that she would never forgive herself if she did something that Tissaia wasn't ready for. That first night had cemented beyond all doubt the fact that she was in way over her head with regards to the mage, though. What had started out as merely physical interest had simmered and grown into all-encompassing wanting for every single aspect of the other woman's being. 

Even now, swimming impatiently while she waits for the mage, Yennefer can't help wish that she could know everything about Tissaia. There's so much she never got to ask, so many conversations they didn't have time for. 

It's not as if they can't talk now that she's a mermaid again, of course. In fact, they've been keeping their mental link open more often than not. When the connection lapses, it's as if she's drowning, the not-knowing of how Tissaia is, whether the mage is alive and well eating away at her until they can re-establish the link. She's not sure whether Tissaia feels the same urgent need around maintaining their mental bond, but since the mage had been the one to initiate checking in that first night, she thinks she's not alone.

Be that as it may, it's still not the same as being able to spend her days physically  _ with _ Tissaia. There was a certain intimacy lent to every interaction between them when she was still human and living with the brunette. The familiarity with which they moved around each other, neither needing to confirm who would chop vegetables or heat the water for tea because they'd established a rhythm, can't be replicated while they are in two very different worlds. 

It might be different if they were able to fully merge their minds, allowing each other full access. But Yennefer knows that they aren't there yet—may never be there, though she thinks it will happen eventually. There are still secrets between them, things that remain unspoken and undiscussed. Tissaia's dreams, the depth of their feelings for each other, anything more than what Yennefer has already shared about her life as a mermaid...all of it lies in the space between them and prevents either of them from wanting to broach the possibility of letting their mental guards down more completely. 

So they continue on in the pattern they've established. Just enough closeness to ensure they don't have to suffer the agony of being fully parted, but never enough to satisfy either of them. Yennefer is already counting down the moons until she can ask Tissaia to transform her back into a human. All of the mage's arguments about the transformation being dangerous are irrelevant in the face of being able to truly  _ be _ with Tissaia again. Yennefer will accept whatever risk is necessary. If it was up to her she wouldn't even worry about waiting for her magic to fully recover. 

Her life in the ocean is no life at all, each day filled with the same mundane tasks of eating just enough to survive while avoiding detection by any other mermaids or passing ships. It's similar to what her life was before meeting Tissaia, but now she knows that there is so much more to the world, so much more that she could  _ have _ if only she wasn't confined to a pesky mermaid form. It makes the aching loneliness of her existence that much harder to bear, and the risk of losing her magic permanently is one she would gladly take to end her misery sooner.

She waits, though, because she knows that Tissaia would never stand for it. More than that, she knows that the other woman would blame herself if there were any ill effects, and Yennefer can't bear the thought of the mage having to live with unnecessary guilt. 

A faint shout from far down the beach draws Yennefer from her thoughts, and she brightens as she feels Tissaia drawing near. It takes a few more minutes before she can see the mage, and her heart swells in her chest at the sight. 

Tissaia is wearing a dark green cloak with the hood pulled up to shield her from the drizzly rain that's started to fall. It's heading towards winter, and soon enough the rain will turn to snow. There's enough movement in the water in the cove to prevent it from freezing solid, but the thought has crossed Yennefer's mind that they should come up with an alternate plan just in case. She's not sure she could bear being trapped in the ocean and not being able to see Tissaia due to weather.

**_Hello, Yennefer_ ** , Tissaia says with a smile. Yennefer swims up to the rocky outcropping that the mage is settling herself onto, maneuvering until she's as close as possible without endangering the smaller woman. The last thing she wants is to accidentally injure Tissaia through carelessness about where her spikes are. 

**_Hi_ ** , Yennefer replies. She smiles back, knowing that the expression is more terrifying than pleasant with her sharp mermaid teeth, but Tissaia just chuckles. Yennefer longs to arch up out of the water and kiss the mage until the laughter turns into the breathy moans she got the faintest taste of just before she was transformed back into a mermaid, and she sighs as she reminds herself this forced separation is only temporary. 

**_Two more weeks till the next full moon._ ** Tissaia is looking at her knowingly, and Yennefer pouts.

**_Two weeks too long_ ** she grumbles. She knows it's silly to mope during her limited time with Tissaia, but she can't help the wave of melancholy at how her entire life has become about waiting.

She shakes herself to try to set the emotions aside for the time being. She can feel bad for herself all she wants when Tissaia has gone back to the cottage. For now, she wants to savor every precious second she gets with the mage.

**_How's Cafall?_ ** she asks, trying to change the subject. Tissaia tips her head down the beach, and Yennefer looks over to see the massive grey dog bounding through the waves.  **_You're going to have quite the muddy floor tonight_ ** Yennefer says with a chuckle. 

Tissaia pulls a face but shrugs.  **_Worth it, to have him calm and content. He's been missing those long walks you always took him on, and he's been driving me a bit crazy._ **

Imagining Cafall harassing Tissaia until she gives him attention makes Yennefer's chest tighten. She wishes more than anything she was physically there to see the little moments in the mage's day.

**_Here._ ** Tissaia speaks and before Yennefer has a chance to ask what she's talking about, images are being projected into her mind. 

She sees Tissaia bent over the kitchen table working to make up a batch of healing draught while Cafall huffs dramatically at her feet. When she doesn't acknowledge him, he stands up, walks past her, and throws himself back down on the floor with a groan. He keeps one eye on Tissaia as if to gauge her reaction, and when the mage doesn't respond other than reaching down to give him an absent-minded pat, he sits up. Lightning-quick, before Tissaia can protest, he jumps and places both of his front paws on her lap. The herbs she was measuring go flying, and the added weight nearly tips her sideways before she catches herself at the last second.

"Cafall!" she scolds, but she's laughing even as she tries to shove him off of her. "Get off!" He pants happily in her face until she groans and says, "If I say I'll take you with me when I visit Yennefer, will you leave me alone until I finish this batch?"

Cafall looks for all the world like he's legitimately contemplating whether that's an acceptable agreement, but then he slides off and licks her hand before going to lay down next to the heart. 

"Silly dog," Tissaia murmurs under her breath. "What am I going to do with you?"

The memory ends and Yennefer immediately misses the sense of closeness. She stares down the beach to where Cafall is now digging happily for some sort of buried treasure (likely something dead and rotting, she thinks) and shakes her head fondly.  **_Well I'm glad he's keeping you in line and not letting you bury yourself in work._ ** A thought occurs to her and she turns back to look at Tissaia.  **_Why were you making such a large batch of healing draught? Surely that's more than the village could hope to use in a year, much less in the near future._ **

Tissaia sighs and Yennefer sees the faint line between the mage's brows that signals she's unhappy about something.  **_I needed to talk to you about that anyways._ ** The mage's whole energy has shifted to something far more subdued and sober, and it makes anxiety swirl in Yennefer's stomach while she waits for Tissaia to continue.  **_The king has requested my presence on a venture that will take us to the far eastern mountains of the kingdom. He's planning to depart the day after tomorrow, and I'm not certain how long I will be required. I'll do my best to be back to make our usual meeting next week, but if I'm not back then I don't want you to worry._ **

Yennefer's first thought is that she's going to be doing a whole lot of worrying regardless of whether Tissaia misses their next meeting or not. A mysterious mission halfway across the kingdom that requires a mage? She doesn't think anything about that is reassuring, especially not in a kingdom that tends to only call on mages in worst-case scenarios.

**_Do you know what you'll be doing?_ ** she asks. trying to gauge just how concerned she should be. Tissaia bites her lip and her frown deepens.

**_King Esteril won't say, but from a bit of investigation I believe he's planning to implement some sort of measures to prevent the elves from being able to cross into the kingdom._ **

The news is surprising. Yennefer isn't exactly well versed in human politics, but she knows that the elves aren't looked on fondly. Taking proactive measures that require a mage in addition to what she's sure will be a well-armed battalion of soldiers is more unusual, though, and she wonders if Tissaia knows more than she's letting on. 

**_What will your role be?_ ** She doesn't want to push too hard for more information, but she at least wants to sort out whether Tissaia is going to be thrown into battle.

**_Hopefully I will be there solely as a healer and advisor_ ** Tissaia replies.  **_I have no intention of doing more than that if I can help it._ **

The words ease some of Yennefer's anxiety, but she can still see the edge of uneasiness settled over Tissaia's small frame. She wants more than anything to be able to gather the mage in her arms and hold her, to kiss her until whatever is worrying her fades into the background and she can relax. Not for the first time, she curses herself for being stuck in a form that could just as easily kill Tissaia as comfort her.

**_Will you be able to maintain the mental connection while you're away?_ **

Tissaia shakes her head.  **_Not as consistently as we have been. I'll need to conserve my chaos in case anything unexpected happens, and sustaining our connection across that distance would be counterproductive._ **

Yennefer knew that the answer was likely, but it still makes her heart sink. She tries to take some comfort in the fact that she'll have access to her own magic to be able to at least check on Tissaia to make sure she's still alive. As long as Tissaia is safe, she can make it through a brief period without being able to talk to the mage on a daily basis. 

**_Who will watch Cafall?_ **

The question is obviously not what Tissaia was expecting, and she blinks at Yennefer for a second before laughing.  **_A friend of mine—Rita, I think I’ve told you about her— is going to drop by the cottage while I'm away to ensure he's cared for._ **

An unexpected surge of jealousy courses through Yennefer at the thought of someone else getting to help Tissaia or be in the cottage with Cafall. She doesn't know Rita, but Tissaia has mentioned her a few times, and the mermaid has already decided that she doesn't especially like the other mage. It's selfish, to dislike one of the few people that Tissaia seems to consider a friend, and so she would never admit her feelings to the mage. But she thinks maybe a bit of the sentiment sneaks into their mental connection from the amused look Tissaia gives her.

**_Don't be jealous, darling,_ ** Tissaia says.  **_A lovely friend Rita may be, but you're the only one I would have._ **

Yennefer is momentarily thankful that mermaids don't blush, because she's fairly sure that she would be bright red and she doubts Tissaia would ever let her live it down. 

**_So,_ ** Tissaia continues,  **_Tell me—what's the latest in underwater gossip this week?_ **

Recognizing the clear attempt at steering the conversation in a different direction, Yennefer acquiesces and launches into an animated retelling of some of the more amusing occurrences since she saw Tissaia last. She peppers her stories with brief flashes of memory projected at the mage—the seal pup chasing its own tail, a kraken dismantling a cocky captain's ship board by board, and a particularly brilliant sunset reflecting off of silver fish swimming in the shallows.

They pass the rest of the afternoon in light conversation, just enjoying the closeness and chance to talk the way they would have in the cottage. At some point Cafall wears himself out and comes to nap next to Tissaia, snuggling just close enough for warmth in the chilly air (though Yennefer notes with some amusement that the mage manages to keep all of his muddy bits at a safe distance from her cloak). 

When the sky begins to fade into dusk, Tissaia sighs and stretches.  **_I should probably head back. I've still got a mountain of potions to brew before we depart._ **

Yennefer nods reluctantly. She doesn't want to part, but she sees the sense in what the other woman is saying. And besides, if Tissaia is about to head off on a potentially dangerous mission, she doesn't want to mage to be tired before she even begins.

**_Go rest and prepare,_ ** she says quietly  **_But make sure you come back to me safely. I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you._ **

Tissaia's eyes soften and she looks like she wants nothing more than to kiss Yennefer senseless. Instead, she carefully leans forward until their foreheads brush together. It's one of the few spots on Yennefer's mermaid body that doesn't have anything sharp or pointy or poisonous, and the feeling of Tissaia's warmth against cool skin is more erotic than she could have imagined.

"I will," Tissaia breathes out. "Don't do anything foolish while I'm away." She pauses, then adds, "I'll miss you terribly, but know that I'll be doing everything in my power to come home to you as soon as I can."

The idea of Tissaia coming home  _ to her _ settles in Yennefer's chest with a pleasant weight. She hums and pulls back before she can forget herself and do something foolish like try to kiss Tissaia.  **_Good,_ ** she says.  **_I'll be here waiting for you._ **

Tissaia nods and pushes herself to her feet. She clicks her tongue and Cafall gets up and shakes himself off, sending little bits of mud flying everywhere. Tissaia casts a final look at Yennefer.  **_I'll see you soon, darling._ **

**_See you soon_** Yennefer echoes. She watches as Tissaia starts the long walk back down the beach towards the path that will lead up to the cottage. The mage is silhouetted against a blood-red sky, and Yennefer shivers as she prays that Tissaia will be able to keep her word and come back safely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure Tissaia's trip with the king will go swimmingly...right? Right???
> 
> Thanks to everyone still reading, commenting, and leaving kudos! You all are fabulous.


	9. Chapter 9

Gorgeous moodboard by Yanana <3

Yennefer floats aimlessly, letting the ocean currents carry her where they will. It's been five days since Tissaia left with no word from the mage. It's somewhat absurd, to be so completely beyond caring after such a short time apart, but Yennefer can't seem to muster the energy to do much more than feed herself and make sure she doesn't accidentally tussle with anything bigger or badder than she is. All of the rest of her energy is consumed with worrying about Tissaia—wondering if she's safe, if she's got enough to eat, if there's something wrong and that's why she hasn't sent so much as a peep to Yennefer since departing. 

She's never had someone to worry over before. It's an entirely new feeling, to have her heart living untethered somewhere outside her body where she can do nothing to protect it other than pray. She wants nothing more than to spirit Tissaia away to some hidden location where they can live out their days just the two of them, not having to worry about losing magic or transforming between mermaid and human. Where such a place might exist she has no idea, but she dreams of what it would be like during every waking moment that she's not thinking about Tissaia. 

She debates for a moment on whether to chance reaching out to check on the mage. She's done her absolute best to resist the urge, knowing that Tissaia will sense her presence and even the slightest bit of distraction or attention to their mental connection might put the other woman at risk. The last thing she wants is to unintentionally get Tissaia hurt by distracting her in the midst of a battle or sapping her chaos and leaving her weakened.

That said, she  _ also  _ wants to know that Tissaia is alive. It's eating her up inside to not know one way or another, and while she'd like to think she would be able to tell if something truly bad had happened...she still can't quite manage to quiet the anxiety pooling in her stomach.

She's pulled from her thoughts by a sudden disturbance in the current. She flips upright, every sense on high alert as she searches for the source. It takes her a few seconds, but she freezes when she recognizes the tell-tale rhythm of another mermaid swimming in her direction.

"Hello, Yennefer."

She bares her teeth and tries not to openly snarl as a familiar face emerges from the gloom. "Istredd."

He swims closer but stops when he's still a few arm-spans away. He looks more or less the same as the last time she saw him—two, maybe three years earlier. He's a bit larger than her, his shoulders broader and his spines accented with yellow instead of green, but she takes some pride in the fact that her frills are still noticeably larger than his. It's always been a sore point for him that she's older, and as much as he postures and acts as if he's superior and has already earned the title of clan leader, the frills don't lie.

"It's been a while," he says evenly. "You missed the annual congregation."

"I didn't fancy dealing with the backstabbing," Yennefer grits out. "What do you want?"

He feigns being wounded. "Who says I want anything? Perhaps I just felt like coming by to see how you're doing."

The spines along Yennefer’s back tighten, the points curving as she tenses in irritation. She wants nothing more than to wipe the smug look from his face—preferably with her teeth and tail, but she’d settle for getting to blast him with magic at this point. He’s affiliated with the council, though, and she doesn’t need to give them any additional reasons to want her dead. She settles for flicking her tail just hard enough that it creates a wake that throws Istredd slightly off balance. He tips sideways before awkwardly regaining his previous position and she sighs when he meets her eyes, clearly still waiting for an answer. 

"Don't act as if you actually care what happens to me, Istredd. If that were the case you wouldn't have tried to kill me all those years ago. Now tell me why you're here."

Istredd glares moodily at her, the answer not what he was hoping for. He crosses his arms over his chest and fans his frills out in a way that she guesses is supposed to make him look imposing but really just makes him seem juvenile. "Fine. Have it your way. I've been sent to warn you." 

"Oh, fuck off," Yennefer mutters, turning to swim away. She's not a child anymore, and empty threats hold little meaning for her. The council probably sent him to try to scare her into doing something for them, or to get her to steer clear of the clan lest she dishonor them with her mere presence.

"We know about the human mage you've decided to keep as a pet." 

The words stop her in her tracks. 

She and Tissaia have never spoken much about how their respective worlds would view their connection. They didn't need to; the fraught history between mermaids and humans meant that they both understood that any relationship between them was only as safe as it was secret. Saying the words out loud and discussing the details of what might happen should they be discovered seemed unnecessary, and Yennefer had been loath to do anything that would introduce more drama into their conversations. 

As she turns to face Istredd again, however, she can't help but wonder whether they might have miscalculated in their steadfast avoidance of that particular discussion. If the mermaid council is aware that she's been associating with Tissaia, nothing good can come of it. 

The council have ultimate say over all mermaids—even wayward ones like herself—and they also have the authority to impose sanctions on anyone who dares to disobey them. They’re charged with the protection of the clan, and if they think that she’s done something to endanger them by meeting with Tissaia, they could invoke their right to intervene.

The thought of the council seeking to interfere with her and Tissaia is enough to make her think more seriously about how to engage with Istredd if he’s truly here on their behalf. There's no use in denying the allegations, that much she knows. He wouldn't have approached her if they didn't have evidence of her associating with Tissaia. 

She curses her stupidity for not being more careful to monitor the sea during their meetings. Tissaia was always cautious—Yennefer had privately thought maybe a bit overly so—about ensuring that shielding charms were in place to prevent any discovery by villagers. Perhaps if she had thought to do the same for the ocean, she could have prevented this from happening.

"You had to have known we would find out," Istredd says. "Did you honestly think that rendezvousing with a human would go unnoticed?"

Yennefer squares her shoulders and fixes him with a hard stare. "In the absence of any place with the clan, I thought I might find my own entertainment." It's a fine line she has to try to walk. She can't deny that Tissaia is clearly someone of import to her if she's been observed with the mage. But if she can at least downplay how deeply she cares for the woman, it might yet keep Tissaia out of their council's sights.

Her heart sinks when she sees Istredd shake his head. "She is more than entertainment to you, Yenna."

"Don't call me that," she hisses. The nickname grates at her ears, a reminder of a time she had been so desperate for any affection that she had let his sweet words cloud her better judgment. He had seemed so innocent when she first met him, and he'd said all the right things. That he wasn't like the others, that he didn't care about her lack of status with the clan, that he would love her anyways and could even help her become a fully-accepted member. 

The promise of him being able to end her isolation once and for all had been too good to resist—up until the point she had realized that it was all a lie. He'd had no power or influence on the council, at least not in a way that would benefit her, and she'd ended things shortly thereafter.

Unfortunately that hadn't gone over well, and she'd gotten a literal knife in her back as a reminder of what happened when she let her guard down. Attacking her had ironically granted him greater standing with the council, though at that point it was moot since he certainly wasn't going to use any of his newfound political capital to advocate for her after being unceremoniously left. Him daring to call her by the old nickname in spite of the bloodshed and years that have passed since the word first left his lips is enough to make her blood boil.

"I have not seen you look at another like that since you left me." He pretends not to even notice her outburst. "You care for her, whether you're willing to admit it or not, and that puts you both in danger."

Yennefer swallows down the urge to yell at him to drop the chivalrous act. Angering him further won't help her—or Tissaia. Fear closes her throat as she considers what the council might do to the other woman. Humans are intentionally kept at a distance from all mermaids, and any who dare push the firmly established boundaries meet with a quick and brutal death to serve as a deterrent to anyone else who might be thinking of trying to push their way into mermaid affairs. 

If the council are truly aware of her association with Tissaia, she shudders to think of what they might do to the mage if given the chance. Tissaia is certainly far from defenseless, but the thought of the other woman coming to harm as a result of Yennefer's clan is nearly too much to bear. 

"It's a good thing I won't be seeing her again, then." The lie slips smoothly from her lips, and she's proud of how unaffected her voice sounds. Istredd looks like he's going to argue, and Yennefer cuts him off. "If you've been watching me—and I know you're the one the council would have assigned, so don't even bother trying to lie—then you know we parted ways and haven't seen each other in many moons now."

She waits for Istredd to say something else. There's no way of knowing just how closely he's been observing her. Her mental wards are strong enough to repel him a hundred times over, and she knows the same is true for Tissaia, but if he'd managed to be close enough to overhear any of their conversation, he may still know that the mage is planning to return soon. 

It takes everything in her not to sag in relief when he gives her a skeptical look and says, "Just like that? You've ended things?"

If he knew the truth of what is between her and Tissaia, he would have called her on her lie outright. It's that knowledge that gives her the strength to form her mouth into a smirk as she replies, "Yes. You should know better than anyone that I have no problem moving on once I've gotten what I want from someone."

He flinches. It's subtle, but she knows she's managed to hit a sore spot. The fact that she'd left him as soon as she realized his lies was probably what had ultimately goaded him into trying to kill her in the first place. His ego is a fragile thing, and she's more than happy to play off of it if it gets the attention away from Tissaia.

Istredd's expression darkens. "If you're lying—"

"I'm not. You can go and tell your precious council that they have nothing to worry about," Yennefer spits. 

His eyes scan her face for any sign of insincerity and she holds his gaze until he finally looks away. "Be careful, Yennefer. Someday you are going to push too far, and when you do it won't be a polite warning you'll receive."

She nods curtly, the action a clear dismissal, and he turns and swims away. Yennefer tries to quiet her thoughts and decide what to do next. She knows Istredd well enough to know that he'll be paying close attention to her actions once she thinks he's gone. He'll likely linger in the area, far enough away for her not to be able to easily track him but close enough that he'll be able to notice any suspicious activity. If she gives even the slightest hint that she's upset, or that what she told him about there being nothing more between her and Tissaia is false, she doesn't doubt that he'll jump at the chance to throw her to the council.

And so, while every ounce of her being wants to panic and lash out at someone or something for the situation she's now in, she forces herself to stay outwardly calm. She goes back to drifting on the currents exactly as she was before Istredd arrived and lets them carry her farther away from shore, deeper and deeper until the light from the surface fades to a dim shimmer filtering through the indigo blue.

More than anything she wishes that she could talk to Tissaia about what to do next. Not because she thinks the mage has all the answers or would have some magical solution, but because she trusts the woman's instincts and feels out of her depth. Going against the will of the council is no problem for her; she's been doing that since she was born. Someday maybe it will end with her death, but she has no intention of letting their supposed rules prevent her from seeing Tissaia. 

What she's less comfortable with, however, is the idea of making decisions that might impact Tissaia's life without the mage's knowledge or consent. Part of her wants to say fuck the council and continue her vigil along the shoreline while waiting for Tissaia's return. But in light of her lie about having tired of the mage, it will look suspicious for her to linger in this vicinity. The safer option by far would be to retreat into deeper waters and wait until Tissaia reaches out to her. 

Pain lances her heart at the thought of being even farther away from Tissaia than she already is, but Yennefer knows it will hurt a lot less than if she were to inadvertently put the other woman in harm's way. Besides, it's not like it will be that much harder for Tissaia to find her just because she won't be right on the shore. Once the mage doesn't need to conserve her chaos, finding the mermaid will be a relatively simple matter regardless of whether Yennefer is near or far. 

Her decision made, Yennefer flips so that she can swim more efficiently and kicks her tail hard to propel herself down and away from the land she yearns for. If Istredd is so determined to monitor her, she can at least lead him on a merry chase across the ocean while she waits for Tissaia. With any luck she'll be able to lose him entirely so that she can return to Tissaia at least once more.

She casts a final glance over her shoulder and then sets her eyes straight ahead. It only takes a few powerful strokes for her to disappear into the gloom of the water, the faint ripples trailing in her wake the only sign that she'd ever been there at all.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will they ever get to be together? .-. 
> 
> (for the record, the answer is yes. eventually.)

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration for the non-Disney mermaid appearance goes to BrazenedMinstrel and Greypaws! There will be a couple more chapters for this one, exact number TBD. Hope you all enjoyed :)


End file.
